when you need a new calling

It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. I’ve been running. Wrestling. Maneuvering. Pouting. Hiding. Controlling. Hollering. Learning. Growing.

While this blog has been sitting unattended, God has been putting the past couple of years of my life into perspective. Funny how we see things the way we want to see them, and in reality, we’re blind to all that God has orchestrated around us.

My heart was locked up. Hands clenched in a death grip on something:  my dream, my plans for my future. Oh, I could dress it up for Sunday church and make it look pretty spiritual.

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The past few weeks have been the heart-wrenching kind. I haven’t been blogging because frankly, my heart is worn out and I don’t know how to put this stuff into a string of words that you would want to read.

Suffice it to say that we’ve been growing over here– growing the hard and painful way. You know what I mean? When you do things all wrong, yet you have no idea until you see how you’ve stomped on someone else’s heart?


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daughter heart

I have been tiptoeing around the perimeter of this post, knowing that I needed to put some things in writing, but a little fearful of the emotion that is bulging from a certain compartment of my heart. That daughter part of my heart.

It’s so heavy, yet freeing. It demands vulnerablility, yet brings comfort. I am fairly certain that I will do more deleting than typing as I press through the writing process here. Continue reading