sovereign

It’s been an interesting week.  Swimming upstream again, I’m afraid. After a few days of feeling like giving up (on everything) I needed the Lord to speak truth to me. What in the world was my problem??

Faithful as He is… the Lord answered straight away. He sent me to a certain passage in my bible, and I knew right away it was something I had already read recently. Irritated and impatient, I turned the pages wondering why we were going back there.

As soon as I read the words, I remembered. Ah, yes. We WERE here last week. The Lord had spoken some things to my heart through this particular passage. I remember feeling anxious about what He laid on my heart that morning. I wasn’t sure how to react… so I went with dismissal. I didn’t receive what He shared with me. I pushed it aside.

Somehow a week went by, and I guarded my heart from Him each day. Oh sure, I got up and read my bible each morning, but I closed up my heart. True, I prayed each day for help, for guidance, for freedom. But the walls were there.

I read these verses this morning, and they spoke to me so clearly:

Those who are far from You, Lord, will perish….But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge.”   Psalm 73:27-28

The first part of this verse is very likely speaking primarily of salvation. Those that are far from God will perish eternally rather than be with Him in heaven. Although I am saved and do not need to worry about an eternity away from Him, I do need to see the effects of the unconscious decision to guard my heart from Him.

I was feeling it after a week. I was far from Him, and I felt as though I was perishing. Melting emotionally and struggling spiritually. It is good…really SO much more than good for me to be near God. To open up my heart to Him and share the fear, concern, anger, frustration, or whatever else is occupying my heart and mind. It is good to stay close to Him.

The last part of the verse gave me a new perspective. Like the Psalm writer, I made a decision to make the Sovereign Lord my refuge. When you see the word Sovereign in the Old Testament, the actual Hebrew word there is often Adonai, which means “Lord and Master”.

So often, I run from the Sovereign Lord instead of seeking refuge in Him. I see the power that He has over me as my Lord, and I worry that He will lead me down thorny paths. I allow fear to rule my heart.

A decision to find refuge in the Sovereign Lord is one that acknowledges that He is the One leading and guiding my life. He is the One that will make decisions for me. He is the One that I will follow. When I find refuge in Him in dark hours, I am clinging to the One that led me to the difficult place I’m in. How perfect that He should be the One to protect me!

I believe that He is good. Always good. I believe that He is loving. The most loving of all. I need to remember that whatever He permits me to go through is the most loving and good thing that I need at the time.

I don’t understand all of the things that He shared with me last week. However, I am making a conscious choice to trust Him rather than distance myself from Him. I taking refuge in the Sovereign Author-of-my-life-story Lord. No matter what He has planned, I am safe in the shadow of His wings.