I’m feeling a little stressed this week. Maybe you can relate… I am so worried about losing two contestants on American Idol!! Mostly, I am concerned that the voters of America will send home the wrong people.

How sad to sit under that kind of judgment. The idols  get 1 minute and 45 seconds to perform, and then four people pick apart their every flaw. For the next two hours, the people of this country hold the performers’ fate in their number-dialing hands.

The funny thing is, I can relate to the contestants’ experiences.  I judge myself all the time… on everything! I imagine that others are judging me the same way. Based on one mistake, or one sin, I decide what kind of person I am. I venture to determine what I deserve based on my failures.

Recently, I went to Indiana for my Grandpa’s funeral. He passed away at the ripe age of 93.  The memorial and the graveside service were far more spectacular than I expected. I learned something very valuable.

Grandpa was very rough around the edges. He was a hard-working man, but he lacked the ability to maintain good relationships. I imagine that he was never taught to show affection. My guess is that he never received much grace growing up, so he wasn’t good at giving others the space they needed to make mistakes and still feel loved when they failed.  Honestly, he could be quite a stinker.

Praise God that he came to know Jesus in a personal way while he was living with my aunt and uncle in his last few years. Grandpa received the forgiveness he needed from the Lord, and from his family members.

Still, how do you honor a man who spent most of his life making mistakes and hurting others? How does a funeral go for a man like this? I’ll tell you.

It was one of the most amazing funerals I have been to.

You see, I had forgotten that Grandpa served in the Navy during WWII. I was blown away at the memorial service when a dozen VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) members marched down the center aisle in their uniforms and saluted Grandpa’s casket. I cried and cried.

These loyal veterans carried his casket and then performed a spectacular graveside service. They had the most amazing things to say about their fallen comrade and his service to our country. There was a 21-gun salute. An American flag was ceremonially folded and handed to my uncle. It was so beautiful.

So how do you honor a man who made so many mistakes? By focusing on the things he did right. He was a hard-working provider for his family. He was a loyal servant of his country. Inside that rough and gruff exterior, Grandpa was an extraordinary man.

What did I learn from all of this?

I am going to make mistakes. A LOT of mistakes. However, because I am saved by Jesus, my God is not going to judge me based on my mistakes. Jesus took care of those mistakes on the cross. I saw this so clearly illustrated at Grandpa’s funeral. Jesus’ blood was poured out to cleanse him of his sins. They weren’t an issue anymore.

God looks at me and sees the amazing person that I am becoming. Once I ask Him to forgive my sins and mistakes, they are forgotten.

So when it is my turn to leave this earth and meet my God in person, I will have no fear. No worries about being judged. I will be honored for the things I have done right. It may not be much, but it will be all that matters and it will be all that is seen.

This week marks a spiritual birthday for me. In 1988, I made a decision to follow Christ on Valentine’s Day. It was a Sunday…just like this year.  A week later, on February 21st, I was baptized. My life changed forever.

I’ve learned so much in that time. I’ve been through so many ups and downs. Seasons when I was thriving, and seasons when I felt barely alive.  I’ve received so many blessings and so many life lessons!

What have I learned, finally, after twenty-two years that I wish I had learned earlier?

God’s grace is REAL. He does forgive. We do get chances upon chances. He loves you the same no matter how you “perform”.

God’s word is ALIVE. He speaks… so “listen” when you read!!

God ALWAYS provides. Always. Period. Just be sure to wait for His provision instead of chasing your own.

God loves ME. Yes, me. And, yes, you too. Close your eyes right now and imagine yourself with Him. Be quiet and let Him speak to your heart!

I’ve shared recently about how God is teaching me lessons on grace. What is grace? I’ve heard it defined as unmerited favor…. good and loving treatment that is not deserved.

God desires to pour out His grace on me…  That means that I am loved and favored by Him even though I am not worthy.

I’ve spent so much of my life being critical of myself. I am so good at beating myself up… I find that I do it as effortlessly as breathing. So, it’s hard for me to imagine that God loves me and favors me. Most days, I really don’t believe it.

The Lord has been trying to get through to me. He just keeps pouring out the blessings and the second chances. No matter what I do, He keeps insisting that He loves me. He sees the good in me… the good that I am unable to see.

This morning at church, we were singing a song that always touches me:

Lord of the heavens
King of all days
Without you my world slips away
Redeemed by your mercy
Consumed by your grace
Now I live for you

I’m found in the arms of love
Your love it has saved my soul
I’ll run to your arms of love
Your life’s gonna lead me home

Often when I am singing  in church, the Lord plants images in my mind that I believe are like little messages from Him. I’m a very visual person, so I think that’s why He communicates to me this way. Maybe you think I’m just crazy, but I know it’s Him.

Many of the images are the same time after time. I often see myself with Jesus on the beach.  Today, I saw something new. As I was singing the words, “I’m found in the arms of love,” I saw Jesus walking on the beach carrying me. My children were walking behind us. It was so powerful that even now I feel the emotion flooding me all over again.

He truly is carrying me right now. I have no idea how I get though each day…homeschooling my girls while caring for our baby boy and a houseful of responsibilities.  Sharing life with a husband that loves me endlessly, yet I often feel as though I have nothing to give back to him. This path is not easy. There are so many things that I am not able to do in this season. I can’t catch my breath if I think about it too much.

Yes, Jesus is carrying me. But there was something unseen in this beach image that came through. He wasn’t carrying me because He had to, not because I was such a failure. He was carrying me because He loves me and he knows how demanding life is right now. He knows that I’m tired and emotional. He knows that I am walking this path because He asked me to. He was carrying me in His arms of love because that’s what He promised He would do. He promised that He would never leave me or forsake me… and there it was, as clear as day in my mind.

I’m found in the arms of love.