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Category: growth

By Posted on Posted in God the Father, growth, hearing God, prayer 1 Comment

Over the past 2  years or so, I have grown in my personal relationship with Jesus more than all the other 18 years of my christian life combined. The single most influential thing I have learned to do is to visualize myself with Him. I have discussed this many times on my blog already, but will touch on it again. The change that has taken place in me cannot be explained in mere words.  When we imagine ourselves walking and talking with Jesus in person, and we allow Him access to our imagination, He can communicate to us in amazing ways. Through this practice, the depths of His love for me have been uncovered. His will for me has been more clear. His character and His heart have been revealed like never before.

By no means have I neglected to read His word or worship Him in prayer and song. Visualization is not the only way to fellowship with Him, and must be kept in balance with the truth of His word.

While I have grown ever close to Jesus in recent years, I must admit that my relationship with the Father is strained and undefined. Frankly, I don’t know what to do with Him! My growing-up father was not a model of love and care. Surely that affects my view of Father God. Typically, He is assigned a distant, judgmental persona in my heart.

This week, a breakthrough came in this area. I was reading in Hebrews chapter 1:

 1 In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, 2 but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe. 3 The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being…

That last verse really came alive. I remembered when Jesus said in the book of John, “If you have seen Me, you’ve seen the Father.”  If I know and trust the heart of Jesus, then I already know the heart of Father God!

In the middle of bible study worship this week, the Father spoke to my heart and assured me, “I am as tender as My Son. You can trust Me. I do not judge you; I love you.” What a breakthrough.

I am working on visualizing the Father. Uncertain of His form, I have been asking the Holy Spirit to help me in my imagination. Great things are happening in me as I grow closer to both Father and Son.

By Posted on Posted in growth 1 Comment

After months and months in the Psalms, I am loving my recent quiet study time in the book of Ephesians. It is chock full of truth for my life today.

This morning, I was hovering over Ephesians 4:22-24:

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

I was automatically reminded of all the years I spent in my Christian life trying to make myself new. Make myself good. Make myself presentable to God. What a waste of time and energy!

I was also reminded of my 7th grader’s recent lesson in science. Consider the Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy:

Neither matter nor energy can be created or destroyed,

but they can be changed from one form to another.

Man is not capable of creating anything. God has created all things in the universe, and what He has made can only be changed from one form to another. For example, matter can be changed from liquid to solid. In the case of energy, it can be converted from mechanical energy to chemical energy. But science is clear… we are not able to create anything.

Ephesians 4 says that our new selves are “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”. Since we are not able to create anything, this work is up to our Creator. 

The word “created” here is ktizo, which means to make, to found, to create, to shape. This is the same word used in Colossians 1:16 where it states that “by Him all things were created”.  It is from a root word ktaomai, which means to acquire for one’s self. There is an underlying meaning of marriage here… to acquire a bride for one’s self.

The Lord has created in us a new person, to be His bride, to be the love of His life. We cannot create a new person within ourselves. We are only able to take our old selves, try to dress them up, and pretend to be new, good, and holy.

If you’re like me, you’ve spent way too much time trying to do this. It’s exhausting. Frustrating. It leads nowhere. The cracks in the veneer show too quickly.

Give up, friend!! Stop trying to make yourself new. Turn yourself over to God and let Him create the new you. Let Him show you who you really are. His treasure. His child. The one He loves. The one He died for. Stop performing and start living. Get off the stage and throw yourself into His embrace. He is waiting with open arms!

By Posted on Posted in growth, rest 1 Comment Tagged with

Recently, I posted a status update on facebook that read:

The human race would be extinct if women had any idea how demanding motherhood would be.

My job as a mother is serious business. Not for the faint-hearted, for sure!  I wouldn’t trade it for anything… except maybe for a week in a tropical paradise… then I would want my demanding life right back again.

I’ve shared that the Lord has been teaching me how to rest in the midst of my demanding life. Clearly, sleep is helpful. I try to get 7 hours each night. Time alone with Him is necessary too… so my soul can rest. Then there’s my current fling with Amish fiction. My mind needs the rest from homeschool pre-algebra and the mental gymnastics required to outwit my 16 month old.

Recently, the Lord showed me that I need more help to rest my body. I’ve had two massages in the past few weeks. Amazing. Also enlightening.

I have major kinks and knots in my neck and shoulders! The stress of life and motherhood have taken their toll on me. I am carrying around tension in my body, and I have decided that this tension is no longer welcome. Of course, these knots will not budge without skilled hands… and not without pressure.

Now, there’s a word that keeps resurfacing in my life. Pressure. I am ever-aware that God allows pressure to build in my life so that I will keep running to Him.  So that, one day, I might never leave His side!

While laying on the massage table today, I gladly welcomed the painful pressure necessary to work the knots out of my shoulder muscles.  Welcoming pain… did I really say that?

Suddenly, I became aware that the pressure God permits in my life is also working out some of the knots in my heart. He is loosening up my heart muscles so that I can relax and trust Him more. The knots of fear, bitterness, and desire for control are kneaded out as I allow His pressure to work in my life.

Maybe I can learn to welcome the pressure and pain He permits… as easily as I welcomed the heavy hands of massage today. Hmmmm…. I am definitely moving in that direction. Lead me, Lord.