I’d like to share with you (in a two-part post) what are probably the two most valuable things I have learned to do in my Christian life.

The two practices that I want to share with you have deepened my relationship with the Lord in ways that I cannot even begin to describe or measure. Overall, the last couple of years have been desert-like for me in many ways. However, God has been determined to get through to me with His love and grace. It’s one thing to understand in my head that He loves me… but it’s completely another to BELIEVE it wholeheartedly, to feel it, taste it, hold on to it when life is thrashing me about.

The two practices I want to share are in fact conduits for God’s love, power, and presence to be poured into my life. There is really no power in the practice itself… but God uses it to reach out and touch me. The first of the two is incorporating visualization into prayer and worship. That might sound kooky… so let me explain.

A couple of years ago, I started having little pictures pop into my head when I would pray. I realized in short order that it was the Lord who was putting these pictures in my mind to show me things. Sometimes they were images of things like waterfalls, ropes in a knot, landscapes, etc. Often they were images of me with Him. Then the pictures started coming in a series… kind of like a movie in my mind. The Lord would often combine the pictures with a message from a friend or a bible verse to confirm that it was indeed Him trying to tell me something. I was concerned that maybe I was losing it!!

These pictures were coming during a time when I was struggling with an issue from my past. A dear friend challenged me one day to ask God where He was at a particularly traumatic time in my life.  I began to ask the Lord to do exactly that. I had no idea that He had been preparing me with these little visions and that He would literally show me where He was.

One night at an intimate mountain retreat, I received an answer. Some amazing women were praying over me, and I saw a series of events unfold in my mind. I saw myself as a child, in an awful situation. Amazingly, I saw Jesus come into this situation and show such tenderness to me. The “vision” was 100 times more powerful than any of the pictures I had seen before. God gave me a new perspective on this piece of my history, a new perspective of Him and His love for me. I was forever changed in that moment.

As time went on, the Lord showed me more. I asked Him where He was during another difficult moment in my life. This answer came in several pieces over maybe a year’s time. Sometimes while I was in prayer or in worship, I would see Jesus walking with me through the most awful seasons of my life. In one particular vision, I saw Him rescue me from a painful situation and whisk me away to the beach. The Lord took me back to that spot in my mind several times to show me more. At one point, I realized that the beach is the place where He wants to meet me. Again and again.

In times of quiet prayer or during worship on Sundays, I close my eyes and imagine myself walking out to the beach. Jesus is always waiting there for me. Sometimes He tells me things. Mostly, He just holds me or sits with me. He has shown me the scars that He bears on His hands, feet, and hairline (from the crown of thorns). In the sky over the crashing waves, He has shown me the glory of the Father. He has walked with me on the sand, carried me on occasion, and washed me in the waves many times.

Yesterday, He showed me something new.  During the worship music at church, I imagined myself on the beach. I ended up standing on a pier with Jesus, watching the howling wind and rolling waves mix with raucous thunder and lightning. In an instant, He scooped me up, carried me out on the water, and suddenly we were beyond all the torrents. Standing on the water, He held me and instructed me to look all around. I became aware of our position… we were in the eye of the storm. I felt complete peace in that moment. I could see the violent stirrings of the storm a mile away on every side. I have never felt so safe. The words we were singing at that moment in church:

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us so….

In the eye of the storm, it was so quiet that I could hear Him say:

I love you. I made you. I know you through and through. I am wrecked with love for you. I can think of nothing else but you. I am with you, watching you, protecting you, fighting for you. I love you.

Visualizations like this one have made my Jesus much more tangible. It has opened the door of my heart for Him to communicate to me more clearly. I find that more of my senses are involved in my prayer or worship time because I literally feel like I am with him in those few special moments. I have learned to relax more, so that He can guide my imagination and show me more. I want more!

I encourage you to give visualization a try. Start by asking the Lord to show you a place where He wants to meet you. Close your eyes, and let Him suggest the place. Let Him suggest the time, the surroundings, and your interactions with Him. Close your eyes and be with Him!

I sat down the other morning to read my bible for a minute and was led to Psalm 25. I read through it like a prayer, and I felt like I had a direct line to Jesus. I began talking to Him about all of my failures… and then I grabbed a pen to begin writing down all of the thoughts that flooded my mind. I don’t regularly have these kinds of thoughts, so I knew they were coming from God.

You are not a failure. The truth is that you are being transformed. I have plans for you. I am trying to teach you and grow you.

Your transformation does not come from performing or doing. It comes from letting My Spirit work within you.

So do not mourn over your present state. There will always be sin, there will always be room to grow and failures to learn from. There will always be impossibilities to face. Just keep your eyes on Me and let Me transform you.

Confess your sin and let it go. Let it go! I want to change you and heal you– stop trying to fix and change yourself. You cannot! It just creates more worry and frustration.

Will you trust Me to work in you and make you more like Me? Will you trust Me to work out the details of your life? Will you trust Me to bring healing where you so desperately need it?

Are you not broken?  Sinful?  Weak?  Stop trying to perform and fix. Confess to Me that you are powerless and that you need Me to work in you. I am the One who will transform your situation – your heart – your relationships.

This negative cycle of despair that you are in comes from your attempt to change yourself and your life… but your inability to make any progress.

Hope and peace come when you let Me work. Watch Me work. Rejoice in My work. Give praise to Me for My work.

I love you.

Amazed this week to discover where I’m at in life. Who would have thought that I would have 3 kids, homeschooling two of them with a nursing baby in cloth diapers? With my daughter’s recent health issues, we are having to cut out nearly all cholesterol. We’re on the verge of becoming vegetarians, and I love it! My desire to cook and prepare fresh, healthy meals for my family is increasing. How did I become such a dedicated earthy homemaker?

I can tell you that all of these things come not from me, but from the Lord. The more that I let Him have the reigns in my life, the more that He transforms me into the woman He wants me to be.

I guess I’ll continue to let Him lead, and we’ll see where I end up and who I become.

Saw a friend at church last sunday that I hadn’t seen in a while. I asked the Lord to speak to me while I was struggling to get everyone to church on time (and alive). When I saw this friend, she said that she’d had a dream about me the night before. It was interesting…

When I got into the service and began to sing, I knew that the dream meant something. It was another way that God has been showing me that He has my future in His hands…

And the future is going to be awesome.