I woke up this morning feeling so anxious.  I laid in bed from 5:30-6:00 a.m. trying to pray it down and hand over all of my worries to the Lord.

It was no surprise when my husband told me that I was talking in my sleep last night. I used to have ongoing episodes when I would sit up in bed and say all kinds of crazy things.  Usually in a very agitated way.  Sometimes I would even be convinced that someone was in the room and that’s what I was ranting about.

It took me a while to figure out that it was stress-related.  When the episodes first started a couple of  years ago, I was under an immense amount of stress (mostly self-inflicted because I insisted on wearing too many hats at one time).  I’m happy to say that it’s been some time since my last sleep-talking incident.  However, yesterday was a long day… lots to think about… and I took it all to bed rather than giving it to God.  I see that He is using this physical symptom to show me that I am anxious instead of trusting Him.

So I kept praying for peace this morning and my anxiety only seemed to increase because I couldn’t get the peace I wanted.  Then I caught a glimpse of myself demanding peace from God.  Clearly, it wasn’t the most effective approach.

I finally shut up for a minute and I heard God’s familiar word come back to me.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”   Philippians 4:6-7

So simple, I know. But when I forget to practice the simple things, I end up in a mess.

The first part of the verse is comedy to me.  “Be anxious for nothing.”  That’s like telling a type-A gal like me to stop breathing.  However, the command doesn’t stop there. God gives the alternative plan. “But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  I had the prayer and petition part going.  But, I forgot the thanksgiving part.  I forgot to thank God for all of the ways He has rescued me and led me and provided for me in the past.  I forgot to praise Him for being so faithful and loving.

Once I started praising Him and thanking Him for those things, then “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” came to ” guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus”.  That is the simple truth that I forgot amidst my sleep-talking, peace-demanding frenzy. Thanksgiving.

When I began to praise Him for what He’s already done, then I found it so easy to praise Him for what I know He will do:

  • Thank you, Lord, that you have an abundant provision stored up for me and my family. We cannot wait to see you release it.
  • I give you honor, Lord, because I know that you will take these temporary struggles and you will produce spiritual growth and eternal glory from them. I trust you in this storm.
  • I praise you, Lord, that you have amazing plans for my children and their growth:  spiritually, emotionally, and academically.  I look forward to knowing your will as you reveal it to me. I don’t need to see down the entire path because I am holding your hand as you lead me one step at a time.
  • I give you glory, Lord, because I know that you are always working on my behalf.  Even though I am often unaware, I thank you for all the ways that you are fighting for me.
  • I praise you, God, because nothing can take away your love for me!
  • I thank you for the peace that you have just poured out in my heart and mind.

I’ve been in a funk this week.  With a sore throat, cough, and congestion, I didn’t make it to the treadmill even one day. I’ve been letting myself sleep an extra hour instead of getting up early to meet with the Lord. Why do I think that neglecting these good habits won’t affect me?  I’ve found myself just seconds away from committing homicide a few times. The sound of my children’s voices has felt like nails on a chalkboard rather than the sweet song I usually hear.  I wanted to point a bazooka at valentine’s day and fire a few rounds. The sad thing is, it took me a few days to figure out that the problem was ME.  I was slow to make the connection between the funk and how I’ve neglected my time with God this last week.

Is anyone else out there as dense as I am?

In addition to my abandonment of all things good and healthy this week, a friend’s husband passed away unexpectedly.  A 41-year old daddy went to sleep one night and woke up in heaven.  It’s really too much for me to wrap my head around. Why him? Why this family?  Why now? It reminded me that I cannot assume that life belongs to the young. Life belongs to God. He gives and He takes away.

When I see God take someone or something away, I immediately start to gather up everything that I hold dear.  Unconsciously, I am trying to hang on to these things so that God can’t take them away. At the moment… somewhat in my right mind… I realize how silly that is.  What can I hide from God?  What can I keep from Him?

God took Jeff home to be in heaven, and suddenly I began throwing my faith vehicle in reverse. Backing away from God at lightning speed.  Throwing the padlock on my heart.  Letting prayers go out, but not letting anything in.  Looking for non-existent assurances that my husband or children are not next on God’s list of new arrivals in heaven.

I have to remember that while He gives and takes away physical life on this earth,  it’s not the same in regard to spiritual life. He gives us eternal life, but He never takes it away. My daughter’s memory verse for this week immediately comes to mind:

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish;

no one can snatch them out of my hand.

John 10:27-28

The Lord woke me up at 5:00 this morning and invited me to sit with Him.  That’s when everything started to click.  Now that He has extended His hand to pull me out of my funk, it’s time to move.  Take a step back toward Him in faith.  Take inventory of all the blessings I have today.  Get back on the treadmill and give Him some of my morning tomorrow.  Release all of my loved ones and dreams to Him.  Let Him take what He wants to take, and be grateful for what He has given me.

I’ve been reading in the book of Exodus this week, and something jumped out at me in a new way. (Don’t you love how God’s word never gets old?)  I saw the movement of God’s hand — His literal hand — over and over again in these chapters.  I am learning more about Him as I read.

  • God’s hand is powerful enough to radically change your circumstances, no matter how impossible that seems. Then the LORD said to Moses, “Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh: Because of my mighty hand he will let them go; because of my mighty hand he will drive them out of his country.” Exodus 6:1
  • God’s loving arm is mighty to save, to redeem, to free you from the things that are choking the life out of you. “I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from under the yoke…”   Exodus 6:6-7
  • God’s faithful hand has sworn that He will keep His promises to you.  Any delay you are experiencing is a part of His plan. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the LORD.”  Exodus 6:8
  • God’s powerful hand is set against your enemy, so you need not fear. “Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment I will bring out my divisions, my people the Israelites. And the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring the Israelites out of it.” Exodus 7:4-5
  • God works in your life in order to reveal His mighty hand to the world. Then the LORD said to Moses, “Tell Aaron, ‘Stretch out your staff and strike the dust of the ground,’ and throughout the land of Egypt the dust will become gnats.”  They did this, and when Aaron stretched out his hand with the staff and struck the dust of the ground, gnats came upon men and animals. All the dust throughout the land of Egypt became gnats.  But when the magicians tried to produce gnats by their secret arts, they could not. And the gnats were on men and animals.  The magicians said to Pharaoh, “This is the finger of God.”   Exodus 8:16-19
  • God’s righteous hand shows power, as well as restraint, according to His plans. This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says:  Let my people go, so that they may worship me,  or this time I will send the full force of my plagues against you and against your officials and your people, so you may know that there is no one like me in all the earth. For by now I could have stretched out my hand and struck you and your people with a plague that would have wiped you off the earth. But I have raised you up  for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. Exodus 9:13-16

May we learn to trust His hand in all things. The enemy often talks us into fearing God’s hand, and we become anxious about His delays or worried that the current movement of His hand is some kind of punishment. However, these verses have convinced me that His hand is simultaneously uplifted in solemn promise to answer me and outstretched to carry me in all things.

Are you trusting His hand today?