handling brokenness

Not too long ago, I found myself observing someone’s behavior and thinking with all the judgment in the world, “What is wrong with her?!” The Holy Spirit broke into my thoughts and whispered a better question… “What happened to her?”

It is such an excellent question, one we ought to consider as we are relating to people. Humans are often driven by fear, anger, shame, pain, and the like. Even as believers, we can easily be driven by deep-rooted trauma and hurt, rather than the God we have committed our lives to. Salvation is an amazing gift, but it is not an immediate cure for our brokenness.

Perhaps what most powerfully impacts our relationships, choices, and trajectory in life is how we handle our brokenness. We’ve all experienced our share of hurts, disappointments, and trauma. Some of it comes from people, but living in this world brings all manner of injury to our souls as well. Wounds leave marks on us in several ways:

• Wounds leave us longing for justice, to understand why these things happened, who is to blame, and what can be done to make it right.

• It’s common for a sense of powerlessness to accompany trauma. We may respond to that powerlessness by trying to control our lives in unhealthy ways.

• Trauma leaves us looking for ways to numb the pain. Our brokenness leaves us vulnerable to the promises of easy fixes and pain relief. This world offers no shortage of temporary escape from what ails us.

• The core beliefs that we have about ourselves, our world, and God are very much shaped by our trauma. We may have core beliefs that are absolutely untrue, but they feel true because those beliefs helped us make sense of our trauma.

The road to healing begins with acknowledging and embracing our brokenness. The more we try to hide it and cover it up, the worse it gets. We often make the mistake of thinking that our brokenness disqualifies us from God’s presence, but the Bible actually presents it as a gateway to God’s presence.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Bring your brokenness to God. Don’t try to cover it up or dress it up as something else. He wants to comfort, heal and transform your heart.

For years, I thought my sin was a bigger problem than my woundedness. What I didn’t understand was that many of my recurring sins actually came from my wounded places. Think of how many of our struggles with sin can be traced to:

• attempts to numb our pain

• the desire to protect ourselves from further pain via control and manipulation

• fears that took root in the midst of our trauma

• knee jerk responses to triggers from our past

Jesus didn’t die on the cross just so that we could be forgiven for our sins. He wants more than that. God wants us to be free from the brokenness that fuels our unhealthy behavior. He wants to work from the inside out, healing what drives us into sin.

We tend to think that sin is what wrecks our lives, and while it’s true to a degree, it’s really unhealed trauma causing the issues. The quality of our lives will improve to the degree that we allow God to heal us.

How are you, my friend? Take a deep breath.

Open up to God about what is rising to the surface in your heart and mind right now. He is waiting to surround you with healing in His wings.

Ask the Lord to show you the next step in your healing. Don’t get overwhelmed with all of it. Consider the ONE thing He wants you to do today.

You may need to pray for the courage and willingness to take that step. That’s okay.

You are on your way, my friend. I’m praying for your healing.