urgency

Isn’t it true that all hell breaks loose on Sunday morning when you’re trying to get the family to church on time? None of us wants to bicker with the spouse or threaten the children through clenched teeth…but it happens. The enemy wants to be sure that we are completely wound up and distracted when we get to church.

It happened to us this past Sunday. One of the worst yet!  There were some heated exchanges in the car and lots of tears.

Later in the day, after the cold silence wore off, I really wanted to talk about what happened. My hubby wasn’t ready. The Lord prompted me to be quiet and wait for a better time to talk. It was really hard! The old me would have pressed and trampled on my husband’s heart…but I gave him time and space to think things through.

Meanwhile, however, I kept stewing on things. I became so self-righteous while creating my long list of wrongs against me. While falling asleep that night, and when I woke Monday morning, it was all I could think about. Rehearsing what I would say and do consumed me.

In the midst of my stewing, the Lord spoke to my heart and showed me something new. When I get upset about something, the enemy often works to convince me that it is SO urgent that I must talk about it and work it out immediately. God reminded me that I have a lifetime to work out some of the recurring issues in my marriage. Very few things are so urgent that I must press my husband to talk when he is not ready.  Knowing that the feelings of urgency were coming from the enemy allowed me to stop and put my concerns in God’s hands. I finally had the willingness to trust Him and wait for the right time.

Later on Monday, I received an email from my husband with his thoughts on what happened on the way to church… and an apology. The very first thing he wrote was about how grateful he was that I gave him space! That was the hardest part, but clearly the most valuable. In the end, I received the communication from him that I wanted. Not by pressing him, but by backing off.

This lesson about false urgency is so valuable to me. When I am overcome with emotions and concerns about something, I really need to go to God and lay it all out before Him. If it truly is urgent, then He will confirm that for me. Otherwise, I will wait on Him and proceed with loving caution.