I was fortunate enough to have a solitary walk on the beach not to long ago. (Deep breath as I remember that rare moment.) Now, I’ll admit that lots of folks were there, so it wasn’t solitary in the true sense, but no one called me “Mommy” or asked me to make them something to eat. It was glorious.

I sat down for a bit, and the Lord immediately directed my attention to this sight:

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His words flooded my heart.

It’s time for you to start taking some risks. You’ve spent your whole life acting as your own lifeguard, keeping yourself out of deep water and away from anything uncomfortable.

See how this lifeguard tower is unmanned? I want you to resign as your own watchman and protector. Let Me decide what is safe for you and what is not.

As this truth pierced my heart, I could not deny it. I let it sink in.

Since I experienced some pretty traumatic things as a child, I’ve spent most of my life trying to avoid pain, rejection, vulnerability… I’ve avoided just about everything that I didn’t think I could control or escape in a pinch. I think it’s a typical human response to avoid discomfort or suffering. However, as children of the Most High God, we are not typical humans!

    The grace that has been granted you is that of suffering for Christ’s sake,
    not merely believing in him. Philippians 1:29 (KNOX)

Did you catch that? We have been granted grace to suffer, to be uncomfortable, to be misunderstood and mocked. We have been given the grace to take risks for the sake of Christ. His grace is poured out abundantly so that we can do more than just believe in Him! We can also put our dreams, our comfort, our time, our money, our passion on the line for Him and His kingdom. We need not perform this risk taking on our own– we are given sufficient grace to do this through the power of the Holy Spirit within us.

God is showing me that, rather than being mindful of the grace that to allows me to be uncomfortable and take risks, I consider opportunities on the scale of comfort and ease. I measure challenges against my own strength, abilities, and time available. Instead, I should measure them by His grace, His abilities and His power!

When I consider His power and resources, then nothing is impossible. When I consider His grace and love, how uncomfortable can the risk be when He has me in His hand the whole time?

Since He spoke this word to me nearly a month ago at the beach, the Lord has already laid challenges before me. He’s asked me to take some risks in a few relationships. He’s asked me to make a trip across the country to be His voice of encouragement. He’s leading our family to change churches after 25 years in one place.

And even as I write this, once again He asks me, “Is it really a risk when I am Your Lifeguard?”

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If you’re a parent, then you are all too familiar with this stage of opposition and self-absorption. Now that I’ve been a mom for over 15 years, I’ve noticed that the terrible twos resurface quite a bit throughout childhood. When hormones start surging in the preteen years, when a desire for independence comes in the teen years, and even a few times in between.

Honestly, I think the terrible twos represent our sin nature so well. Basically, the terrible twos are rooted in the child’s inability to see beyond what they want in the moment. They can’t fathom any other scenario than the one in their head. Sound familiar?

I’ve recently had my own bout of the terrible twos. There’s a particular situation in my life that has gone on for a few years, and frankly, I reached my limit very early on. I’ve gone through seasons of surrendering and depending on the Holy Spirit to carry me along in this, and then seasons of resentment and fear that it will never end. At ideal moments, I experience joy, knowing that God has me in His hand and it makes no difference what sort of circumstances I am in. In low moments, I can’t get past the fact that I want out. I guard my heart from Him, hide from Him, and experience a lack of peace, joy, and contentment. The most recent cycle of hiding my heart from Him has been difficult to break out of. To be honest, I am just so darn weary of this particular circumstance. I can’t see the value in this situation and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Along the way, God’s word to me has been, “Trust Me.” When I couldn’t trust people in my circumstances, His word was, “You don’t need to trust them. You only need to trust Me.” When I was convinced that the end was around the very next bend, only to get there and see miles stretched out before me, His word was again, “Trust in the God you know Me to be.” He has repeatedly steered me to Psalm 77:7-13.

Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?

Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will consider all your works
and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”
Your ways, God, are holy.
What god is as great as our God?

When circumstances are out of my control, I have to appeal to what I know about my God and His track record. I must reflect on all of the times that He saved me, that He provided, that He worked miracles. I have to meditate on the character that He displayed in those glorious moments and believe that He is still the same. He is good. He cannot lie. He never changes.

Since He is good, then His plans for me, even within my difficult circumstances, are good. If I can’t see the good, or even the possibility of it, then I must believe that there is some unknown factor, some undreamed agenda that He is working to bring about in my favor. I must believe that He has some sweet blessing that will be revealed as I hold on to Him.

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I cannot see yet what He will do. But I MUST believe that He has been weaving in threads of glory that will be revealed in the end. Hasn’t he always managed to bring good out of tough situations?

One thing about the terrible twos is that most little ones wear out eventually and become compliant. I think I’ve worn myself out and it’s time to fall into His faithful arms. It’s time to believe in my Father’s loving heart and His ability to orchestrate the unimaginable. It’s time to let go….

photo credit:
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson
Farmhouse Kitchen Window, zazzle.com (text added)

Ever wake up feeling like this?

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I often wake up with yesterday’s stuff hanging over me. I remember how I suffered over something and can’t imagine doing that for another day. I remember how I let my heart and mind wander away from the One that I need most of all. I remember how bitter I’ve become over repeated failures on my part or someone else’s. I remember the gall, the irritation that I let go unchecked. I remember all of the selfish and unkind things I did and said.

Sometimes a cloud of guilt smothers me and I fear that I will repeat the same failings again in the day that is dawning. God calls to me, to come and meet with Him, but there are times when the distance between us feels insurmountable.

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What a great word for the morning! We may wake smothered with yesterday’s disappointments and failures, but there is more to remember than just affliction and gall. Jeremiah writes in these verses that He calls to mind something that gives him hope.

He remembers… and his heart once again embraces the truth that God’s great love and mercy keep us from being consumed by the residue of yesterday.  His love is more than enough to keep us from being consumed by the things that await us in this new day.

There are many things that threaten to consume us: fear, insecurity, addictions, obsessions, desire for control, anger, negativity, perfectionism, analyzing, and more. What is it that threatens to take over your heart, mind, and behavior?

Food is something that has the capacity to consume me daily.  It begins as I wake and review what I ate (or didn’t eat) yesterday.  It intensifies when I am feeling down, and I go to the refrigerator thinking that food will make me feel better.  The reality is that the opposite is true… once I get into emotional eating, I usually end up feeling lousy and I get distracted from the relationships and responsibilities in my life that are more important.  Once I turn to food, I have a very hard time stopping the compulsive behavior.  It truly does consume my time, thoughts, and attention.

Can you relate? Is there something in your life that presents itself as help, but ends up consuming you? Maybe it’s a behavior, or maybe it’s a thought process.

God has shown me that there is a defining moment each day when I open the door to my obsession with food and become consumed.  I believe wholeheartedly in the truth of the Lamentations passage above:  His mercies are new every morning.  God has shown me that, by His grace and mercy, I wake up free from compulsive eating, no matter what occurred the day before.  So, each day presents a new opportunity to live in freedom. Sometimes, I walk in freedom the whole day long.  On the days that I walk in compulsive and emotional eating, I can look back to one moment in the day when I opened the door.

It might be that I turned to food for emotional comfort instead of turning to God or reaching out to a loved one.  It’s often happened when I ate something that triggered an addiction-like response in my body (something primarily made with white flour or refined sugar).  It might be that I opened the door to my food obsession by eating when I was not hungry, or continued to eat when I was full.

This insight from Him about opening the door has been very helpful.  At first, the awareness kept me from getting consumed with food.  But I soon discovered that awareness alone is not enough.

I spent several weeks trying to manage the door.  Trying to avoid opening the door.  Trying nailing it shut once I had cracked it open.  Trying to blame God for allowing the ding-dong door to exist in the first place.  I was missing something.

When He brought me to Lamentations recently, the pieces came together. Remember verse 22?

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed.

The verse above does not translate as “because of our self-control, we are not consumed.”  Stop and think about that.  It says that God’s great love is the force behind our freedom.  He loves us so much that He wants us to be free.  His lovingkindness and mercy, and His affection toward us, are the vehicle in which we travel in freedom.  His love is a buffer between us and the things that are not good for us.

The key to freedom is not self-control.

While we might white-knuckle it through one day and avoid the thing that threatens to consume us, is that really freedom?  Isn’t that trading one obsession for another?  We become consumed with not being consumed.

Now, before you think that I’ve exhausted this topic, let me share one more insight from the Lamentations passage.

When Jeremiah writes, “His compassions never fail”, he uses a word for compassion that is often translated as pity, mercy, or tender mercies.  It indicates God’s motivation to rescue us.  Not only does He see how lost and consumed we are, but He reaches out in response.

What I found interesting is that this Hebrew word for compassion is also translated as “womb” four times in the Old Testament.  The etymology of the word indicates a relationship between God’s love, mercy, compassion and the protection of a womb.

This resonates with me as I consider that God’s love and compassion keep me from being consumed by the forces of my flesh and this world.  It also reminded me of these words that Jesus spoke:

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.

Now remain and abide in my love.

John 15:9

Abide in His love as if it were the womb protecting you from things that would consume you.  Remain in His love as if it were the womb where you receive the life and breath you need to continue growing in Him.  Be conscious of His love, declare and claim His love, direct your thoughts toward His love.  As I shared in my last blog, allow Him to convince you of His love.

If you wake up tomorrow feeling consumed by failures or anxiety about what’s to come, like Jeremiah, recall and return to the truth that will give you hope:

Because of His great love, we are not consumed.

 

 

 

photo credit:

archiearchive.wordpress.com [tumbleweed]

tylerdog5 at wunderground.com [wildflower sunrise]