Author: jamie

By Posted on Posted in God's love, hearing God, spiritual lows 2 Comments

A few years ago, I went through a traumatic experience that left me virtually “undone”. At the time, I was teaching bible study on a regular basis, starting to speak at retreats, and experiencing new things in my spiritual life that astounded me. God was taking me to a whole new level.

While struggling with getting pregnant after a miscarriage, I thought I heard God clearly tell me something that did not pan out. I was devastated. Not so much about the thing that didn’t pan out… but by the fact that I was convinced I heard Him clearly. It made me question everything. All that God had done in me, and everything I thought I’d heard Him say in the past.

It was a dark time for me. I couldn’t trust anyone or anything. I didn’t want to walk with God anymore… but where could I go? I knew too much. I knew He was real. I just didn’t know how to move forward.

I look back on that season with such a different perspective now. God allowed my “undoing” for very good reason. I had a lot of understanding regarding His word and His ways, but I had no clear understanding of how much He loved me.

And that is what I learned in the dark season. I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t read the word. I could only sit and cry. I didn’t want to hear anything from Him that required action on my part (because I was convinced I couldn’t trust my own hearing).  It was then that He began to speak words of love to me. For the first time in my life, I was able to receive it.  Soon, I was able to read the bible again. From there, He spoke words of love to me. Over and over, He spoke His love to me.

It forever changed me.

Now, I have a much clearer understanding of His love. It has permeated my heart, my mind, my soul. By no means have I arrived… the depths of His love are unfathomable! It will take me a lifetime to fully understand. In the past couple of years, He has worked to remove many of the barriers that once stood in the way of His love. The affection of my Heavenly Father and Savior on the cross flow more freely into my heart than ever before.

I heard Joyce Meyer say something this morning that really got me thinking about this very subject of love. Consider two of the disciples. Peter continually professed his love for and devotion to Christ  (Matthew 17, Mark 8, Luke 22). On the other hand, John was known as “the disciple whom Jesus loved” (which he professed in his writings in John 13:23, 21:7, 21:20). While Peter was focused on his own love for Jesus, John was blessed with a clear understanding of how much Christ loved him.

Both men were affected by the understanding that they had. Both professed their understanding in words and actions. When we look at the moment that Jesus went to the cross, we see a vast difference between these two men. Peter found that his devotion to Jesus wavered when he denied knowing the Savior, yet John was present at the foot of the cross and accepted Christ’s request to care for His mother.

This morning I realized that I used to be a Peter, but now I’m more like John. This penetrating understanding of His love and care for me has proven to be of more value to me than I ever imagined.

If this revelation is sorely lacking in your life… ask God to give you a deeper understanding of His love. When you read the scriptures, press in and look for the evidence of His love. What you discover there, repeat to yourself over and over. You will believe far more of what you say out loud than what you merely read.

May you confidently become the individual that Jesus loves, and may you proclaim it all the day!

By Posted on Posted in growth 1 Comment

After months and months in the Psalms, I am loving my recent quiet study time in the book of Ephesians. It is chock full of truth for my life today.

This morning, I was hovering over Ephesians 4:22-24:

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

I was automatically reminded of all the years I spent in my Christian life trying to make myself new. Make myself good. Make myself presentable to God. What a waste of time and energy!

I was also reminded of my 7th grader’s recent lesson in science. Consider the Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy:

Neither matter nor energy can be created or destroyed,

but they can be changed from one form to another.

Man is not capable of creating anything. God has created all things in the universe, and what He has made can only be changed from one form to another. For example, matter can be changed from liquid to solid. In the case of energy, it can be converted from mechanical energy to chemical energy. But science is clear… we are not able to create anything.

Ephesians 4 says that our new selves are “created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”. Since we are not able to create anything, this work is up to our Creator. 

The word “created” here is ktizo, which means to make, to found, to create, to shape. This is the same word used in Colossians 1:16 where it states that “by Him all things were created”.  It is from a root word ktaomai, which means to acquire for one’s self. There is an underlying meaning of marriage here… to acquire a bride for one’s self.

The Lord has created in us a new person, to be His bride, to be the love of His life. We cannot create a new person within ourselves. We are only able to take our old selves, try to dress them up, and pretend to be new, good, and holy.

If you’re like me, you’ve spent way too much time trying to do this. It’s exhausting. Frustrating. It leads nowhere. The cracks in the veneer show too quickly.

Give up, friend!! Stop trying to make yourself new. Turn yourself over to God and let Him create the new you. Let Him show you who you really are. His treasure. His child. The one He loves. The one He died for. Stop performing and start living. Get off the stage and throw yourself into His embrace. He is waiting with open arms!

By Posted on Posted in hearing God No Comments

I have observed lately one of the ways that the Lord causes me to come into agreement with His will. Put simply, he makes me hungry for the thing that He wants me to have.

I’ll give you an example. A short time ago, I became unmotivated in regard to my alone time with God. I slept in and then rushed around trying to find a few minutes to read my Bible and pray. Sometimes I would get up early, but check my email and facebook, and then spend a few quick minutes reading my Bible out of duty rather than true desire to spend time with the Lord. Then suddenly, my morning “quiet” time was interrupted when my toddler began waking up at 5:15 am. After a few days, I was beside myself. I was desperate to have my little boy sleep until 6:30 so that I could have some time alone with God. I became very hungry for those quiet moments in His word. I longed to hear God speak to me in the early morning hours. I was begging God to make Levi sleep so I could have time with Him. How clever He is to use circumstances to get me where He wants me to be!!

This morning, I was reading in Psalm 22:

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
2 My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest.

3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the one Israel praises.
4 In you our ancestors put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.
5 To you they cried out and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

I have been reading this passage quite a bit in the last few months. I love how the Psalmist says that even though God appears to be quiet, He is still on the throne. He is still my God. He is still the only One who will save me. He is quiet sometimes, but never abandons me.

The Lord chooses to be quiet sometimes. It is always for good reason. I realized this morning that He is often quiet to make us hungry for His will.

I’ll give you another example from my own life. A couple of years ago, I went through a very dark time in my faith. I went through some serious loss, and in that time frame, I had a misunderstanding with the Lord. I thought that He told me something specific, but it didn’t pan out. I was devastated. I really questioned my ability to hear from Him and I began to run from Him. I didn’t want to read His word or allow Him to speak to my heart because I couldn’t go through another misunderstanding like that.

I see now how the Lord began orchestrating circumstances to make me hungry for His guidance and His voice again. My pain and disappointment created such fear and resistance to intimacy with Him. However, through my heartache and stubbornness, He made it clear that my children were to go to private school the following school year. It was a crazy notion… we were in such financial hardship at the time. I couldn’t make it happen, but I knew it was what He wanted. I just kept praying. I waited and waited all summer, and the Lord became very silent. I prayed and prayed… crying my heart out. I was desperate to hear from Him. I needed confirmation. I needed provision. I needed for Him to talk to me! I was hungry for His will and His voice. When He finally spoke, and finally provided… what joy I experienced! It was a real breakthrough experience for me.

I could never understand that period of silence until today. He was silent on purpose. Not because He was angry, or disappointed, or gone. I am so grateful for that silence… as awful as that time was. He was silent in order to create a hunger in me for Him and Him alone.