Author: jamie

By Posted on Posted in endurance, God's word, homeschooling No Comments

What a striking contrast between last week and this week. I felt better, loved better, taught better, and ate better last week. I made a conscious effort to read my devotion and the bible first thing each morning. This week, I was more hit-and-miss…. mostly miss.

I really felt the difference! I was frustrated, impatient, emotional, and I ate like crazy this week. My prayers were mostly composed of whines and demands. Why? I was empty, but yet I was running around trying to do life without the proper perspective and preparation. Clear as day, once again I was able to see the difference in my life when I put God first each day.

The icing on this dismal cake came last night. My oldest daughter informed me at just past 6:30 pm that she had math homework, and she needed my help. (She takes 6th grade math on campus through our homeschool academy.) While trying to teach her how to solve percentage equations, my nearly 11 month old was hollering about the dinner I gave him.  My blood sugar was low because I hadn’t slowed down enough to eat my own dinner.  Time was ticking by, and the start of my husband’s home bible study was quickly approaching.

Pressure. Hunger. Fussing baby. Loud TV from the other room. Percentages. Blank stare from 6th grader. I lost it. I threw the calculator that was in my hand and walked toward the kitchen to find some kind of food that would silence the grouchy baby boy. On my way, I saw it.

The red bucket.

It sat on the floor, full of toys. It wasn’t bothering anyone, but oh my word, everyone was bothering me!!! So I kicked the hooey out of it. Apparently, when you pay $5.99 for a plastic bin in the seasonal department at Target, you don’t get a product of the highest quality or durability. The poor thing shattered into a dozen pieces and toys rocketed in all directions.

Boy, it felt good…. For about 10 seconds. Then I felt embarrassed for losing my cool. (Yet remarkably grateful that it was a bucket and not one of my precious children.) Of course, the entire family had to come running to see what happened. Oh, the look of horror on each face was priceless. I think they realized…even the baby… that they had pushed this momma too far.

Yet, it was MY responsibility to keep my cool. It was MY responsibility to make sure that I was sane enough to handle the challenges of the day. That morning had come and gone without time set aside to read my bible and pray in a focused manner. I was reminded again that I had been coasting on fumes that day instead of soaring in the power of God. I hadn’t bothered to connect to my power source.

I kicked the bucket… and it woke me up from my deadly slumber. A hunger for God’s presence and His Word burst into flames within me.

This morning, I was a few hours into my day when I finally opened up my devotion and bible… but I got there!

“Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly,
but the proud he knows from afar.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes,
with your right hand you save me.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.

Psalm 138:6-8

When I read this passage, I knew that God was speaking to my heart. He said, “Jamie, I am not done with you yet. I am going to fulfill My purpose in you. I love you.”

And that was all I needed.


By Posted on Posted in endurance, trusting Him 1 Comment

Ever feel stuck?

I was really feeling it last night.  Going around the same mountain again and again. Nothing’s changing. It looks like a break-through is coming, then disappointment comes instead. Same old junk, same old road blocks.

I woke up today feeling low. Nursing my baby in the early morning darkness,  I poured my heart out to God. “You have to do SOMETHING!”

A short time later, I found a minute to read my devotion for the day. Here’s most of it:

“Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.” Exodus 14:13

This verse contains God’s command to me as a believer for those times when I am confronted with dire circumstances and extraordinary difficulties. What am I to do when I cannot retreat or go forward and my way is blocked to the right and to the left?

The master’s word to me is, “Stand firm.” And the best thing I can do at these times is to listen only to my Master’s word, for others will come to me with their suggestions and advice…

Despair will come, whispering, “Give up–lie down and die.”

Cowardice will come and say, “You must retreat to the world’s way of acting. It is too difficult for you to continue living the part of a Christian. Abandon your principles.”

Impatience will come, crying, “Get up and do something! To stand firm and wait is sheer idleness.”

Stand firm. I must maintain the posture of one who stands, ready for action, expecting further orders, and cheerfully and patiently awaiting  the Director’s voice. It will not be long until God will say to me, as distinctly as he told Moses to tell the children of Israel, “Move on.” (Ex.14:15)

I made a decision this morning to stand firm and stop worrying about my problem. God promised that He had a provision and I would see it soon.

Just a bit ago, I was perusing the facebook status of my friends, when I came across an internet  link. It was just the thing I have been waiting for. An open door that might lead to much-needed growth and healing.

Thank you, Lord.

By Posted on Posted in grace No Comments Tagged with

I’m feeling a little stressed this week. Maybe you can relate… I am so worried about losing two contestants on American Idol!! Mostly, I am concerned that the voters of America will send home the wrong people.

How sad to sit under that kind of judgment. The idols  get 1 minute and 45 seconds to perform, and then four people pick apart their every flaw. For the next two hours, the people of this country hold the performers’ fate in their number-dialing hands.

The funny thing is, I can relate to the contestants’ experiences.  I judge myself all the time… on everything! I imagine that others are judging me the same way. Based on one mistake, or one sin, I decide what kind of person I am. I venture to determine what I deserve based on my failures.

Recently, I went to Indiana for my Grandpa’s funeral. He passed away at the ripe age of 93.  The memorial and the graveside service were far more spectacular than I expected. I learned something very valuable.

Grandpa was very rough around the edges. He was a hard-working man, but he lacked the ability to maintain good relationships. I imagine that he was never taught to show affection. My guess is that he never received much grace growing up, so he wasn’t good at giving others the space they needed to make mistakes and still feel loved when they failed.  Honestly, he could be quite a stinker.

Praise God that he came to know Jesus in a personal way while he was living with my aunt and uncle in his last few years. Grandpa received the forgiveness he needed from the Lord, and from his family members.

Still, how do you honor a man who spent most of his life making mistakes and hurting others? How does a funeral go for a man like this? I’ll tell you.

It was one of the most amazing funerals I have been to.

You see, I had forgotten that Grandpa served in the Navy during WWII. I was blown away at the memorial service when a dozen VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) members marched down the center aisle in their uniforms and saluted Grandpa’s casket. I cried and cried.

These loyal veterans carried his casket and then performed a spectacular graveside service. They had the most amazing things to say about their fallen comrade and his service to our country. There was a 21-gun salute. An American flag was ceremonially folded and handed to my uncle. It was so beautiful.

So how do you honor a man who made so many mistakes? By focusing on the things he did right. He was a hard-working provider for his family. He was a loyal servant of his country. Inside that rough and gruff exterior, Grandpa was an extraordinary man.

What did I learn from all of this?

I am going to make mistakes. A LOT of mistakes. However, because I am saved by Jesus, my God is not going to judge me based on my mistakes. Jesus took care of those mistakes on the cross. I saw this so clearly illustrated at Grandpa’s funeral. Jesus’ blood was poured out to cleanse him of his sins. They weren’t an issue anymore.

God looks at me and sees the amazing person that I am becoming. Once I ask Him to forgive my sins and mistakes, they are forgotten.

So when it is my turn to leave this earth and meet my God in person, I will have no fear. No worries about being judged. I will be honored for the things I have done right. It may not be much, but it will be all that matters and it will be all that is seen.