I’m feeling a little stressed this week. Maybe you can relate… I am so worried about losing two contestants on American Idol!! Mostly, I am concerned that the voters of America will send home the wrong people.

How sad to sit under that kind of judgment. The idols  get 1 minute and 45 seconds to perform, and then four people pick apart their every flaw. For the next two hours, the people of this country hold the performers’ fate in their number-dialing hands.

The funny thing is, I can relate to the contestants’ experiences.  I judge myself all the time… on everything! I imagine that others are judging me the same way. Based on one mistake, or one sin, I decide what kind of person I am. I venture to determine what I deserve based on my failures.

Recently, I went to Indiana for my Grandpa’s funeral. He passed away at the ripe age of 93.  The memorial and the graveside service were far more spectacular than I expected. I learned something very valuable.

Grandpa was very rough around the edges. He was a hard-working man, but he lacked the ability to maintain good relationships. I imagine that he was never taught to show affection. My guess is that he never received much grace growing up, so he wasn’t good at giving others the space they needed to make mistakes and still feel loved when they failed.  Honestly, he could be quite a stinker.

Praise God that he came to know Jesus in a personal way while he was living with my aunt and uncle in his last few years. Grandpa received the forgiveness he needed from the Lord, and from his family members.

Still, how do you honor a man who spent most of his life making mistakes and hurting others? How does a funeral go for a man like this? I’ll tell you.

It was one of the most amazing funerals I have been to.

You see, I had forgotten that Grandpa served in the Navy during WWII. I was blown away at the memorial service when a dozen VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) members marched down the center aisle in their uniforms and saluted Grandpa’s casket. I cried and cried.

These loyal veterans carried his casket and then performed a spectacular graveside service. They had the most amazing things to say about their fallen comrade and his service to our country. There was a 21-gun salute. An American flag was ceremonially folded and handed to my uncle. It was so beautiful.

So how do you honor a man who made so many mistakes? By focusing on the things he did right. He was a hard-working provider for his family. He was a loyal servant of his country. Inside that rough and gruff exterior, Grandpa was an extraordinary man.

What did I learn from all of this?

I am going to make mistakes. A LOT of mistakes. However, because I am saved by Jesus, my God is not going to judge me based on my mistakes. Jesus took care of those mistakes on the cross. I saw this so clearly illustrated at Grandpa’s funeral. Jesus’ blood was poured out to cleanse him of his sins. They weren’t an issue anymore.

God looks at me and sees the amazing person that I am becoming. Once I ask Him to forgive my sins and mistakes, they are forgotten.

So when it is my turn to leave this earth and meet my God in person, I will have no fear. No worries about being judged. I will be honored for the things I have done right. It may not be much, but it will be all that matters and it will be all that is seen.

I was reading this morning about how Jesus, after the “high” of getting baptized and being audibly affirmed by the Father in front of so many witnesses, was led into the desert for 40 days. It was there that the enemy tempted Him. This was a crucial time for Jesus… He would begin His public ministry after this time of solitude.

The Lord drew my attention to the fact that I have 40 days of homeschooling left. (8 weeks x 5 days = 40 days) This is a crucial time for me!

I sensed that this sudden awareness was a warning to me that the enemy was going to try to mess with my final 40 days of the year.

It is my desire to finish well!  I have changed my approach to school a bit, chosen what we will complete (instead of feeling pressure to finish all of my curriculum) and I’ve given us space and grace to complete these lessons without piling too much on each day that is left.

Satan tempted Jesus in the same way that he tempts us:  by appealing to our appetites, our greed, and our desire for status. (Luke 4:1-13) I’ve asked the Lord to make me aware of the enemy’s appeals and I’ve asked Him to be my strength in these final 40 days.

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary.  This photo symbolizes our married life together more than any other, so I thought I’d share it!

It was raining the day we were married, and boy has it rained a lot in our married life!! We’ve weathered many storms together, as I’m sure you have too. We were fortunate to see a rainbow or two on the way to the reception that day, and God’s promise was evident… He wouldn’t give us more than we could handle. He would always be there to see us through the difficult times.

This picture is so meaningful to me for three reasons. One is because the umbrella serves as a symbol of God’s covering over us. We have been safe in His care in the midst of the wildest storms… unemployment, illness, miscarriage, looming foreclosure, loss of a ministry, friendship betrayal… the list goes on. He has covered us.

The second reason that I love this photo is because you can see our reflection in the water on the ground! Isn’t it interesting that we really see ourselves, for who we really are, when the storms come. I think that over the last 15 years, my husband and I have been transformed so much. Not just as a couple, but as individuals. Our reflections have changed through the years and we are looking more and more like the people that God wants us to be.

The third reason that I adore the photo is because we are together under there, and Manny is holding the umbrella. He has been there for me all these years… not always the way I wanted him to be, but he was there. He never gave up on me when I was hormonal, angry, overwhelmed, selfish, disinterested, dissatisfied, ungrateful, lost, or confused. He’s listened to a lot of *@#&*$# along the way, and took it in stride. He put his own needs on the back burner so many times because I needed something. He has loved me like he is supposed to; he has loved me like Christ loves the church. Now, he hasn’t executed it perfectly (yet)… but his intent was always to love me even if it came out “wrong” in my book.

It’s hard to believe that 15 years have gone by already. According to society’s standards, we are beating the odds… we are still married!  We’ve had some amazing times together. It’s never easy, rarely magical, not always peaceful, and full of surprises, but we are still married. When the storms came, we just huddled under the umbrella and tried not to shove each other out into the rain.

We’ll see what God has planned for the next 15 years! By then, we could be grandparents. (gulp!!) Whatever happens, we’ll still be cooped up under our umbrella looking for the rainbows!