Home › View all posts by jamie › Page 50

Author: jamie

By Posted on Posted in prayer, trusting Him 1 Comment

So much is going on in the lives of people around me. My heart feels heavy for some good friends that are losing their home soon. For a mom friend that is being wounded and rejected by her own child.  For a group of people that are hurt by changes that are meant for good.  For a sweet teacher that flew halfway across the world to be used by God, yet has been attacked by an infection.

In all this, I have been reminded of my own powerlessness. I cannot fix any of these problems. I can’t heal anyone, change anyone’s mind, repair any families. All I can do is pray.

Why do we say it that way? As if prayer is some last resort… some desperate attempt to do good when all of our other efforts have failed?

Prayer is a spark that ignites power! Results! Answers! Healing! Freedom! I have spent so much more time praying this week with all of these issues weighing heavy on me. The more I pray, the lighter I feel. Is it because I have seen results after praying for one week??

Not really. The answers are slow in coming. I feel better because the more I pray about a situation, the more convinced I become that God is listening. He is watching. He is planning. He is preparing His rescue. He is coming!

King David describes the Lord’s response to our prayers in Psalm 18. Allow me to personalize it for you:

6 In your distress you called to the LORD;
You cried to your God for help.
From his temple he hears your voice;
your cry comes before him, into his ears.

7 The earth trembles and quakes,
and the foundations of the mountains shake;
they tremble because he is angry [at your enemies].

8 Smoke rises from his nostrils;
consuming fire comes from his mouth,
burning coals blaze out of it.

9 He will part the heavens and come down;
dark clouds will be under his feet.

10 He will mount the cherubim and fly;
he will soar  on the wings of the wind to save you.

11 He will make darkness his covering, his canopy around him—
the dark rain clouds of the sky.

12 Out of the brightness of his presence clouds will advance,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

13 The LORD will thunder from heaven;
the voice of the Most High will resound.

14 He will shoot his arrows and scatter your enemies ,
great bolts of lightning will route them.

15 The valleys of the sea will be exposed
and the foundations of the earth will be laid bare
at the rebuke of the LORD,
at the blast of breath from His nostrils.

16 He will reach down from on high and take hold of you;
he will draw you out of deep waters.

17 He will rescue you from your powerful enemy,
from your foes, who seem too strong for you.

18 They confront you in the day of disaster,
but the LORD is your support.

19 He will bring you out into a spacious place;
he will rescue you because he delights in you.

By Posted on Posted in grace No Comments

I’ve shared recently about how God is teaching me lessons on grace. What is grace? I’ve heard it defined as unmerited favor…. good and loving treatment that is not deserved.

God desires to pour out His grace on me…  That means that I am loved and favored by Him even though I am not worthy.

I’ve spent so much of my life being critical of myself. I am so good at beating myself up… I find that I do it as effortlessly as breathing. So, it’s hard for me to imagine that God loves me and favors me. Most days, I really don’t believe it.

The Lord has been trying to get through to me. He just keeps pouring out the blessings and the second chances. No matter what I do, He keeps insisting that He loves me. He sees the good in me… the good that I am unable to see.

This morning at church, we were singing a song that always touches me:

Lord of the heavens
King of all days
Without you my world slips away
Redeemed by your mercy
Consumed by your grace
Now I live for you

I’m found in the arms of love
Your love it has saved my soul
I’ll run to your arms of love
Your life’s gonna lead me home

Often when I am singing  in church, the Lord plants images in my mind that I believe are like little messages from Him. I’m a very visual person, so I think that’s why He communicates to me this way. Maybe you think I’m just crazy, but I know it’s Him.

Many of the images are the same time after time. I often see myself with Jesus on the beach.  Today, I saw something new. As I was singing the words, “I’m found in the arms of love,” I saw Jesus walking on the beach carrying me. My children were walking behind us. It was so powerful that even now I feel the emotion flooding me all over again.

He truly is carrying me right now. I have no idea how I get though each day…homeschooling my girls while caring for our baby boy and a houseful of responsibilities.  Sharing life with a husband that loves me endlessly, yet I often feel as though I have nothing to give back to him. This path is not easy. There are so many things that I am not able to do in this season. I can’t catch my breath if I think about it too much.

Yes, Jesus is carrying me. But there was something unseen in this beach image that came through. He wasn’t carrying me because He had to, not because I was such a failure. He was carrying me because He loves me and he knows how demanding life is right now. He knows that I’m tired and emotional. He knows that I am walking this path because He asked me to. He was carrying me in His arms of love because that’s what He promised He would do. He promised that He would never leave me or forsake me… and there it was, as clear as day in my mind.

I’m found in the arms of love.

By Posted on Posted in homeschooling, schedules 3 Comments

We always dread returning to “real life” after Christmas vacation. While it’s nice to slow down, enjoy the holidays, reflect on the spiritual value of Christmas, and spend time with family without all the demanding schedules… I realized this week that I was not made for Christmas vacation.

As the break from school and work came to an end, I found myself surrounded by a cloud of despair. I hadn’t felt that “blue” in a long time. Weeping at every turn, and literally fearing the days to come, I kept crying out to the Lord.

I can’t do it.

I can’t homeschool my children.

It’s too hard.

I can’t keep up with everything… the baby, the housework, the kids’ schedules.

Yet Monday came, whether or not I thought I was ready.  God was certainly ready.  He led me to have the kids do some independent school work on the first day, while I planned the month of January. Tuesday came and I had more energy and enthusiasm for school.  God was carrying me along. Suddenly, it was Thursday and we were wrapping up the week. We took off to Knott’s Berry Farm on Friday to celebrate!

Funny thing is… I didn’t feel blue all week. The despair was gone.

What did I learn? I am made to live a life of purpose. A life where responsibilities, rewards, and even failure flow in a steady rhythm. Christmas vacation is not real life. While it’s full of joy and wonder and time to rest, it lacks the day-to-day framework that allows me to live out the calling of my life.   Right now, I am called to teach my children and raise them up to be spiritual, loving, educated, responsible people. When I got back to the daily structure of carrying out my purpose, I felt so renewed.  Purpose replaced the despair.

I am so grateful to be where I am.  It is becoming more and more clear to me that I do not know what is best for me!  However, God knows what I need in every way… and I will keep trusting Him to lead and plan out my life.