Author: jamie

By Posted on Posted in hearing God, spiritual lows Tagged with , , ,

This was God’s message to me today.  Stop with the ongoing thoughts:

“I should have…”

“I should never have…”

“I really should be more like…”

“I should be ashamed for…”

Stop shoulding on yourself, and listen to Me.  I love you with an everlasting love.  I dreamed you up in My heart and created you for a purpose.  I have awesome and abundant plans for your life.  Stop criticizing yourself and listen to Me.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free

from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2


The Lord posed a few questions in my heart this morning.  Take a minute to consider them as I did….  When the one you love (friend, child, sibling, spouse) is distant from you, do you get angry with them?  When the one you cherish doesn’t listen to you or obey your wishes, do you write them off forever?  When the one you love hurts you, do you stop loving them back?

I am a sinful, weak, selfish human being, yet I can often maintain love for someone who has wandered away, disobeyed, or hurt me.   How much MORE does the living, loving, compassionate God of this universe love me and you, even when we are distant, rebellious, and independent in our relationship with Him?

When I start shoulding on myself, it drives me further away from God rather than to Him.  Why do I run and hide?  He knows me, and how I am.  He is not surprised by my behavior.  I must remember that He loves me, that He longs for me, and that He is waiting for me to return to His presence.  Not so that He can lecture me or punish me, but so that He can embrace me with all of His love and shower me with His grace.  Hear this (personalized) word from the Lord:

.

“When you were a child, I loved you,
and out of bondage I called you, My child.

But the more I called, the further you went from me.
You sought your own way and worshiped other things.

It was I who taught you to walk, taking you by the arms;
but you did not realize it was I who healed you.

I led you with cords of human kindness, with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from your neck and bent down to feed you.”

Hosea 11:1-4


I am the LORD your God and I am with you,
I am mighty to save.
I will take great delight in you,
I will quiet you with My love,
I will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

By Posted on Posted in prayer Tagged with

written prayers inserted at the Wailing Wall
written prayers inserted at the Wailing Wall

Once again, the power of prayer was made clear to me this week.  I visited with a good friend at church, and we chatted about the baby boy in my womb.  She reminded me of the moment when the seed was truly sown for this little boy.  It was a long time ago.

My friend and her husband were traveling to Israel nine years ago.  My husband really wanted to go on this trip, but I was newly pregnant with our second child.  It’s always been a dream of his (and mine) to see the Holy Land, but since he couldn’t go, he asked our friends to do something for him while they were there.  He gave them a slip of paper, and asked them to place it in the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.  On the paper, he had written a prayer… the longing and desire of his heart.

The Wailing Wall received its famous name from the British in 1917.   During their rule in Israel, they witnessed the ongoing presence of Jewish people praying and weeping at the last standing piece of the Temple wall  (built by Herod in 19 BC).   This piece of wall is actually a retaining wall that supported the extended Temple platform that Herod built.   The Jewish people have been visiting the Wailing Wall as a place of prayer since about 400 AD.   They come to mourn the destruction of the Temple and to make requests of the Lord.  They believe that there is something very powerful about the wall.  To them, it’s a holy site where God’s presence once dwelt.  They believe that there is no place on earth closer to God or to heaven.

It has become very common for people who visit the wall to insert their prayers on a piece of paper.  Since my husband couldn’t go to the Holy Land, this was his wish.  To have the prayer of his heart placed inside the Wailing Wall.  What did he write on the paper?  He asked God for a son.

I had completely forgotten about this time in our lives!  It was shortly after our friends’ return from Israel when we discovered that our second child would be another girl.  We were happy to have a healthy child,  but the longing remained in my husband’s heart in the days that led up to our daughter’s birth.

I moved on, became busy with two little girls, and was honestly content with the size of our family.  It wasn’t until 2 years ago when the Lord asked me to have another child that I thought about how much my husband had wanted a son.  Even when I talked with him about the Lord’s apparent plan to give us another baby, it seemed that even my husband had forgotten how much he desired to have a son nine years ago.

But the Lord never forgot.  He heard those prayers.  He knew the longing of my man’s heart.  He waited until the time was right, and brought the answer to prayer.

This time I knew, even before I got pregnant, that this baby would be a boy.  The Lord made it very clear to me that this child was a blessing to my husband, and that it would be a son.  When my friend reminded me this week about the Wailing Wall prayer, I realized once again just how amazing God is and how powerful our prayers are.  Nine years seems like a long time to wait.  My husband had long since left that request at the foot of the Father’s throne.  He trusted God with his heart’s desire. Even when the years went by.  And now here we are, just seven weeks away from meeting our little boy.

This nine year old story is a challenge to you and me today.  What do you need to bring to the Wailing Wall?  What is the desire of your heart?  Write it down, roll it up, and place it in your wailing wall.  In essence, you will be laying it at the foot of His throne.  Let Him take His time.  Let Him shape your dream and your desire.  Let Him answer you when He knows that the timing is perfect.

What have you been waiting for?  Does it seem like it’s too late?  With God, it’s never too late.  My husband will finally experience the joy and desire of his heart at 47 years old!  Don’t let the enemy tell you that it’s over.  Your future is being written by your Loving Father.  Rest in Him, knowing that He has you in His hands.

This is what the LORD says: “In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you.”  Isaiah 49:8

By Posted on Posted in hearing God, obedience Tagged with ,

I’m such a planner and controller.  For years and years, even as a Christian, I decided where I was going, what I was doing, what the family was doing, and I tried to make it all look like something God would want me to do.

It’s only been in the last couple of years that I have been learning to set aside my planning and controlling, and let God lead where He wants to lead.  The funny thing is… His plans have been nothing like mine.  Not at all what I had in mind.

He’s led me to do some extremely unconventional things.  I’ve had to wait a lot longer than I’ve ever waited for anything.  I’ve taken some crazy risks and experienced some tough losses.   I’ve had people look at me like I am nuts.  I’ve had good Christian people tell me that I’m doing it all wrong.   All I can say is, I’m following God’s lead.  I’m only going to do what He asks me to do.  Yes, I’m making some mistakes along the way, but I am determined to do it His way.

Yesterday, I was reading Habakkuk…a little book with a funny name.  Something he said really caught my eye:

I will climb up to my watchtower and stand at my guardpost.
There I will wait to see what the Lord says and how he will answer my complaint.   Habakkuk 2:1

This is where I have been.  Watching, waiting, not moving until I heard from Him.  I do have to confess that sometimes I ask, and then I get too afraid to hear His answer.  So, occasionally I’m hiding out under the watchtower rather than standing boldly at the top.  But still, I am learning not to act without His direction.

Habakkuk was a prophet during one of Israel’s most wretched seasons.  They were deep in idolatry and wickedness.  The people were not listening to God’s word or His prophets.  Habakkuk went to God (in chapter 1 of  the book) and begged Him to do something.  God responded to Habakkuk by letting him know that the Babylonians were soon going to come and God would bring discipline on His people through this conquering nation.  Of course, Habakkuk was distressed by this plan.  It was not at all what he had in mind!

So, he went back to prayer with his concerns about the Lord’s plan.  God let him know that the disobedient people need to be humbled, but that the faithful could surely trust Him no matter what happened:

See, he is puffed up, his desires are not upright- but the righteous shall live by faith…”  Hab 2:4

After hearing God’s response in chapter 2, Habakkuk gets back to praising God for who He is and how He has always been faithful.  Chapter 3 is full of hope.  Even though Habakkuk isn’t looking forward to the coming destruction of the Babylonians, he is looking forward to see what God will do through the difficulties:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.    Habakkuk 3:17-19

This is the kind of faith and courage I want to have.  God is doing amazing things in my midst.   Who am I to argue with the means that He chooses?  If I want to go on the heights – the high places – then I must be prepared to walk whatever path He leads me on.  I can’t worry about how hard it is.   How crazy it is.  How foolish I might look.  What I stand to lose in the process.  I just have to follow.

This reminds me of a devotion I read in Streams in the Desert the other day.  It was talking about the widow in 2 Kings 4… when God was about to meet her desperate need.  He told her (through the prophet Elisha) to go in the house with her two sons and shut the door.  This probably seemed crazy and pointless to the woman.  Here is a portion of the writer’s thoughts about this bible passage:

The widow and her two sons were to be alone with God.  They were not dealing with the laws of nature, human government, the church, or the priesthood.  Nor were they even dealing with the prophet Elisha anymore.  They had to be isolated from everyone, separated from human reasoning, and removed from the natural tendencies to prejudge their circumstances.

At certain times and places, God will build a mysterious wall around us.  He will take away all the supports we customarily lean upon, and will remove our ordinary ways of doing things.  God will close us off to something divine, completely new and unexpected, and that cannot be understood by examining our previous circumstances.  We will be in a place where we do not know what is happening, where God is cutting the cloth of our lives by a new pattern, and thus where He causes us to look to Him.

Most Christians lead a treadmill live– a life in which they can predict almost everything that will come their way.  But the souls that God leads into unpredictable and special situations are isolated by Him. All they know is that God is holding them and that He is dealing in their lives. Then their expectations come from Him alone.

This really spoke to me!!  I lived that treadmill life for so long… so predictable because I was calling the shots!

Now God is choosing for me, and what an adventure it has been.  Instead of being on the treadmill, going nowhere, I am reaching new heights and experiencing challenges and miracles that I would never have imagined.  Not at all what I had in mind…. but worth every second!