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By Posted on Posted in trusting Him 2 Comments Tagged with , ,

I woke up this morning feeling so anxious.  I laid in bed from 5:30-6:00 a.m. trying to pray it down and hand over all of my worries to the Lord.

It was no surprise when my husband told me that I was talking in my sleep last night. I used to have ongoing episodes when I would sit up in bed and say all kinds of crazy things.  Usually in a very agitated way.  Sometimes I would even be convinced that someone was in the room and that’s what I was ranting about.

It took me a while to figure out that it was stress-related.  When the episodes first started a couple of  years ago, I was under an immense amount of stress (mostly self-inflicted because I insisted on wearing too many hats at one time).  I’m happy to say that it’s been some time since my last sleep-talking incident.  However, yesterday was a long day… lots to think about… and I took it all to bed rather than giving it to God.  I see that He is using this physical symptom to show me that I am anxious instead of trusting Him.

So I kept praying for peace this morning and my anxiety only seemed to increase because I couldn’t get the peace I wanted.  Then I caught a glimpse of myself demanding peace from God.  Clearly, it wasn’t the most effective approach.

I finally shut up for a minute and I heard God’s familiar word come back to me.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”   Philippians 4:6-7

So simple, I know. But when I forget to practice the simple things, I end up in a mess.

The first part of the verse is comedy to me.  “Be anxious for nothing.”  That’s like telling a type-A gal like me to stop breathing.  However, the command doesn’t stop there. God gives the alternative plan. “But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  I had the prayer and petition part going.  But, I forgot the thanksgiving part.  I forgot to thank God for all of the ways He has rescued me and led me and provided for me in the past.  I forgot to praise Him for being so faithful and loving.

Once I started praising Him and thanking Him for those things, then “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” came to ” guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus”.  That is the simple truth that I forgot amidst my sleep-talking, peace-demanding frenzy. Thanksgiving.

When I began to praise Him for what He’s already done, then I found it so easy to praise Him for what I know He will do:

  • Thank you, Lord, that you have an abundant provision stored up for me and my family. We cannot wait to see you release it.
  • I give you honor, Lord, because I know that you will take these temporary struggles and you will produce spiritual growth and eternal glory from them. I trust you in this storm.
  • I praise you, Lord, that you have amazing plans for my children and their growth:  spiritually, emotionally, and academically.  I look forward to knowing your will as you reveal it to me. I don’t need to see down the entire path because I am holding your hand as you lead me one step at a time.
  • I give you glory, Lord, because I know that you are always working on my behalf.  Even though I am often unaware, I thank you for all the ways that you are fighting for me.
  • I praise you, God, because nothing can take away your love for me!
  • I thank you for the peace that you have just poured out in my heart and mind.

By Posted on Posted in God's word 1 Comment Tagged with ,

I just made blueberry pancakes. You might not think much of it until I tell you that it’s 8:00 p.m. on Tuesday night.  When I made chicken, broccoli, and sliced apples for the kids, nothing sounded good to me.  I wasn’t really hungry.  Then the craving kicked in two hours later.   Am I pregnant or what?

After I ate a few pancakes, I was good.  They really hit the spot.  I started thinking for a minute about cravings…. about how I never seem to crave the right thing.  At least, not at the right time. The Lord brought Jeremiah to mind, and I thought about his cravings.  He had the kind of cravings that I wish I had.

Your words were found, and I ate them,
And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart;
For I am called by Your name,
O LORD God of hosts.

Jeremiah 15:16

He was a man that lived on God’s word. He devoured it, craved it, and the Word brought him great joy.

Jeremiah had something else to say about God’s word:

Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him,
Nor speak anymore in His name.”
But His word was in my heart like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding it back,
And I could not.

Jeremiah 20:9

For a short time, this prophet had grown a bit weary in sharing God’s word with His people, yet he was unable to keep silent. God’s word was like a fire in his heart and in his bones.  He was unable to hold back what He was hearing from God. He was unable to keep silent about what He was learning from God. The word was like a fire within him.

Lord, change my cravings. Cause me to hunger for Your Word.  As I consume it more and more, cause the Word to burn like a fire within me so that I cannot contain it.

By Posted on Posted in trusting Him 2 Comments Tagged with ,

I’ve been in a funk this week.  With a sore throat, cough, and congestion, I didn’t make it to the treadmill even one day. I’ve been letting myself sleep an extra hour instead of getting up early to meet with the Lord. Why do I think that neglecting these good habits won’t affect me?  I’ve found myself just seconds away from committing homicide a few times. The sound of my children’s voices has felt like nails on a chalkboard rather than the sweet song I usually hear.  I wanted to point a bazooka at valentine’s day and fire a few rounds. The sad thing is, it took me a few days to figure out that the problem was ME.  I was slow to make the connection between the funk and how I’ve neglected my time with God this last week.

Is anyone else out there as dense as I am?

In addition to my abandonment of all things good and healthy this week, a friend’s husband passed away unexpectedly.  A 41-year old daddy went to sleep one night and woke up in heaven.  It’s really too much for me to wrap my head around. Why him? Why this family?  Why now? It reminded me that I cannot assume that life belongs to the young. Life belongs to God. He gives and He takes away.

When I see God take someone or something away, I immediately start to gather up everything that I hold dear.  Unconsciously, I am trying to hang on to these things so that God can’t take them away. At the moment… somewhat in my right mind… I realize how silly that is.  What can I hide from God?  What can I keep from Him?

God took Jeff home to be in heaven, and suddenly I began throwing my faith vehicle in reverse. Backing away from God at lightning speed.  Throwing the padlock on my heart.  Letting prayers go out, but not letting anything in.  Looking for non-existent assurances that my husband or children are not next on God’s list of new arrivals in heaven.

I have to remember that while He gives and takes away physical life on this earth,  it’s not the same in regard to spiritual life. He gives us eternal life, but He never takes it away. My daughter’s memory verse for this week immediately comes to mind:

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish;

no one can snatch them out of my hand.

John 10:27-28

The Lord woke me up at 5:00 this morning and invited me to sit with Him.  That’s when everything started to click.  Now that He has extended His hand to pull me out of my funk, it’s time to move.  Take a step back toward Him in faith.  Take inventory of all the blessings I have today.  Get back on the treadmill and give Him some of my morning tomorrow.  Release all of my loved ones and dreams to Him.  Let Him take what He wants to take, and be grateful for what He has given me.