I’ve been asked this question quite a bit lately. It seems that my protruding baby-belly is a sign to people that I should stick to breathing and let them do the rest. Wow, do I sound irritated? I guess I’m just an independent kind of gal.
The baggers at the grocery store have been after me for weeks to carry my groceries out. I know, I should let them. But as long as I can do it, I’m going to continue in my self-sufficient ways. Today at the Costo gas station, the sweet employee came over and asked if he could help me pump my gas. I declined very nicely and chuckled to myself. It’s nice to see that courtesy hasn’t left the planet completely.
As I was driving out of the gas station, I heard the question again. “Can I help you with that?” This time it was the Lord.
I had been crying and worrying most of the morning about my little nut (my second grader). She is struggling in school. No doubt…. she is bright, funny, compassionate, creative, expressive in every way, and a great cook at only 8 years old. Just not a natural-born student. At least, not in the traditional teacher-in-front-of-thirty-kids classroom. She is an excellent student in LIFE… whatever is hands-on and whatever involves people. Just a little oblivious to the details. Today, she’s not interested in our colonial history or the trivialities of math word problems. Give her a real life problem, and she will jump at the chance to console, to help, to rescue.
I’ve been trying to help my little nut on my own. However, my independence has not proved helpful. I’ve tried everything that I know how to do, and I think I’ve hit the wall. This morning, I realized that I haven’t reached out to the teacher as much as I should. ( I have authority issues, too. I fear the red pen and I let it have the final word.) I also realized that I’ve kept my hubby out of this as well. Most of all, I haven’t been asking the Lord to help me.
I see that my independence has led to nothing good. It’s time to open my heart. Let go of the fears. Let God shed His light on this situation. Get some proper perspective. Let Him draw my husband and my daughter’s teacher in to work on this together. Let Him carry us through this.
For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:9 (NKJ)
He is watching all the time, to see how He can help me. How can my heart be loyal to Him, when I am rejecting His help all the time? Am I really abiding in Him if I’m trying to do all the work?
There are no points to be earned for doing it myself. Only heartache.
I have so much to learn!