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Author: jamie

By Posted on Posted in endurance, motherhood No Comments Tagged with ,

I’m realizing that the reason that God made babies so darn cute and lovable is so that you won’t throw them out the window at 3:00 a.m…. even if the thought crosses your sleep-deprived, frustrated, at-your-wits-end mind.

LeviI love this little boy.  I just forgot how demanding babies are. When it comes to caring for infants, the phrase “give until it hurts” comes to mind.

In my normal life,  I’m accustomed to giving until it hurts.  However, that’s often where I stop. Once the task, responsibility, or service becomes painful, then I give up.  I just can’t do it. I don’t have time or energy to do it. So I give up.

I’m giving right now, and it hurts!  Of course, there’s no backing out now. This little boy needs me… and I do love to care for him. Even when it hurts, I can push myself to do it. I cry out to God for the strength or the patience to do it. I remind myself that it’s not forever… this highly demanding and sleepless state is only for a season.

It occurred to me this morning (at 4:30 a.m.) that I am being trained to give until it hurts… and to keep on giving in the midst of the pain. God has many plans for me;  some will be incredibly trying and difficult. I will only be able to do them if I trust in Him. I must allow His strength to excel in me and accomplish the work for me.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.   Galatians 6:9-10

By Posted on Posted in trusting Him 2 Comments Tagged with , ,

Are you like me?  Do you spend alot of time imagining the future, running through scenarios, and exploring every possible outcome?  Do you make yourself crazy with anxiety and worry over situations you haven’t even encountered yet?

Do yourself a favor, and get off the hamster wheel! (That’s what I call it.) You’re going ’round and ’round trying to figure out the future, when you have absolutely no control over it!

I read an amazing passage from a great book about a year ago, and it has really stuck with me.  It has kept me off the hamster wheel many times:

(This is God talking)  “When I dwell with you, I do so in the present. I live in the present. Not the past, although much can be remembered and learned by looking back, but only for a visit, not an extended stay. And for sure, I do not dwell in the future you visualize or imagine.”

“Do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely, if ever, pictures Me there with you? “

“It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can’t. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear.”

from The Shack by William P. Young

It’s about time that we start imagining the future with Jesus standing by our side.  What will we have to fear then?

.

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.

Isaiah 43:1-5

By Posted on Posted in spiritual lows 2 Comments Tagged with

As you can imagine, having a 5 week old baby means that I’m not getting much sleep.  I’m so disappointed that getting 3 hours of sleep before (and 3 hours of sleep after) a middle of the night feeding never feels like 6 continuous hours of sleep. I am totally exhausted.

I’ve also been feeling very “blah” when it comes to my spiritual life. Devotional time is hard to come by, and frankly it’s not the first thing on my mind most days. I’m trying not to listen to the enemy when he accuses me of being disobedient or tries to tell me that God is not happy with me right now.

Instead, I’m trying to open my heart and my spiritual ears so that I can hear what God would say to me right now. I’m working on getting into His word (bible) a few times a week, because I know that He speaks to me that way. I’m also trying to be still a few minutes each day to hear what He might whisper to me (in my thoughts) through His Spirit.

This week, He’s been assuring me that He loves me no matter how “spiritual” I am with my attitude or my time. He reminded me that I have been through so much in the last two years. During that time, I was hanging on for dear life… facing daily challenges to my faith, my security, and my sanity. I waited so long for God to do what He promised He would do…and just last month He saved our house and delivered our baby boy.  In the past few months, He has dramatically changed our financial situation. For now, the fight is over and I can relax. If I can remember how to do that.

The Lord showed me that I am totally exhausted from hanging on for so long. Spiritually speaking, I am worn out and I need to rest. He is providing this time of rest for me. I need to stop beating myself up for not being more spiritually alert and active. The “blahs” I feel are a let down from all of the fighting, standing, and struggling I’ve been going through.

So, I’m going to rest right now. I’m going to talk to God and read the bible as often as He nudges me to do it. I’m not going to keep track in an effort to measure my spirituality or give the enemy a foothold to accuse me. I’m going to blog when I feel inspired, and not worry about what you all think of me when I don’ t post something new every week.

If you’re totally exhausted… and God is trying to get your attention… then stop torturing yourself and rest in Him!

Consider Psalm 116 in a new light:

I am the LORD, and I know that you love Me.

I heard your voice; I heard your cry for mercy.

Because I have turned My ear to you, You will call on Me as long as you live.

Indeed, the cords of death entangled you, great anguish came upon you;

You were overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then you called on My mighty name, and you said,  “O LORD, save me!”

I am the LORD, and I am gracious and righteous; I am full of compassion.

I always protect the simple hearted; when you are in great need, I save you.

Be at rest once more in your soul, for I have been good to you.

I am the LORD, and I have delivered your soul from death, your eyes from tears,

your feet from stumbling, that you may walk before Me in the land of the living.

How can you repay Me, the LORD for all My goodness toward you?

Lift up the cup of salvation and continue to call on the name of the LORD.

Fulfill your vows to Me in the presence of all his people.

Truly you are My servant; I have freed you from your chains.

Give an offering of thanks to Me and call on My name.

Praise Me, I am the LORD.