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This was God’s message to me today.  Stop with the ongoing thoughts:

“I should have…”

“I should never have…”

“I really should be more like…”

“I should be ashamed for…”

Stop shoulding on yourself, and listen to Me.  I love you with an everlasting love.  I dreamed you up in My heart and created you for a purpose.  I have awesome and abundant plans for your life.  Stop criticizing yourself and listen to Me.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free

from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2


The Lord posed a few questions in my heart this morning.  Take a minute to consider them as I did….  When the one you love (friend, child, sibling, spouse) is distant from you, do you get angry with them?  When the one you cherish doesn’t listen to you or obey your wishes, do you write them off forever?  When the one you love hurts you, do you stop loving them back?

I am a sinful, weak, selfish human being, yet I can often maintain love for someone who has wandered away, disobeyed, or hurt me.   How much MORE does the living, loving, compassionate God of this universe love me and you, even when we are distant, rebellious, and independent in our relationship with Him?

When I start shoulding on myself, it drives me further away from God rather than to Him.  Why do I run and hide?  He knows me, and how I am.  He is not surprised by my behavior.  I must remember that He loves me, that He longs for me, and that He is waiting for me to return to His presence.  Not so that He can lecture me or punish me, but so that He can embrace me with all of His love and shower me with His grace.  Hear this (personalized) word from the Lord:

.

“When you were a child, I loved you,
and out of bondage I called you, My child.

But the more I called, the further you went from me.
You sought your own way and worshiped other things.

It was I who taught you to walk, taking you by the arms;
but you did not realize it was I who healed you.

I led you with cords of human kindness, with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from your neck and bent down to feed you.”

Hosea 11:1-4


I am the LORD your God and I am with you,
I am mighty to save.
I will take great delight in you,
I will quiet you with My love,
I will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

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I’m such a planner and controller.  For years and years, even as a Christian, I decided where I was going, what I was doing, what the family was doing, and I tried to make it all look like something God would want me to do.

It’s only been in the last couple of years that I have been learning to set aside my planning and controlling, and let God lead where He wants to lead.  The funny thing is… His plans have been nothing like mine.  Not at all what I had in mind.

He’s led me to do some extremely unconventional things.  I’ve had to wait a lot longer than I’ve ever waited for anything.  I’ve taken some crazy risks and experienced some tough losses.   I’ve had people look at me like I am nuts.  I’ve had good Christian people tell me that I’m doing it all wrong.   All I can say is, I’m following God’s lead.  I’m only going to do what He asks me to do.  Yes, I’m making some mistakes along the way, but I am determined to do it His way.

Yesterday, I was reading Habakkuk…a little book with a funny name.  Something he said really caught my eye:

I will climb up to my watchtower and stand at my guardpost.
There I will wait to see what the Lord says and how he will answer my complaint.   Habakkuk 2:1

This is where I have been.  Watching, waiting, not moving until I heard from Him.  I do have to confess that sometimes I ask, and then I get too afraid to hear His answer.  So, occasionally I’m hiding out under the watchtower rather than standing boldly at the top.  But still, I am learning not to act without His direction.

Habakkuk was a prophet during one of Israel’s most wretched seasons.  They were deep in idolatry and wickedness.  The people were not listening to God’s word or His prophets.  Habakkuk went to God (in chapter 1 of  the book) and begged Him to do something.  God responded to Habakkuk by letting him know that the Babylonians were soon going to come and God would bring discipline on His people through this conquering nation.  Of course, Habakkuk was distressed by this plan.  It was not at all what he had in mind!

So, he went back to prayer with his concerns about the Lord’s plan.  God let him know that the disobedient people need to be humbled, but that the faithful could surely trust Him no matter what happened:

See, he is puffed up, his desires are not upright- but the righteous shall live by faith…”  Hab 2:4

After hearing God’s response in chapter 2, Habakkuk gets back to praising God for who He is and how He has always been faithful.  Chapter 3 is full of hope.  Even though Habakkuk isn’t looking forward to the coming destruction of the Babylonians, he is looking forward to see what God will do through the difficulties:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.    Habakkuk 3:17-19

This is the kind of faith and courage I want to have.  God is doing amazing things in my midst.   Who am I to argue with the means that He chooses?  If I want to go on the heights – the high places – then I must be prepared to walk whatever path He leads me on.  I can’t worry about how hard it is.   How crazy it is.  How foolish I might look.  What I stand to lose in the process.  I just have to follow.

This reminds me of a devotion I read in Streams in the Desert the other day.  It was talking about the widow in 2 Kings 4… when God was about to meet her desperate need.  He told her (through the prophet Elisha) to go in the house with her two sons and shut the door.  This probably seemed crazy and pointless to the woman.  Here is a portion of the writer’s thoughts about this bible passage:

The widow and her two sons were to be alone with God.  They were not dealing with the laws of nature, human government, the church, or the priesthood.  Nor were they even dealing with the prophet Elisha anymore.  They had to be isolated from everyone, separated from human reasoning, and removed from the natural tendencies to prejudge their circumstances.

At certain times and places, God will build a mysterious wall around us.  He will take away all the supports we customarily lean upon, and will remove our ordinary ways of doing things.  God will close us off to something divine, completely new and unexpected, and that cannot be understood by examining our previous circumstances.  We will be in a place where we do not know what is happening, where God is cutting the cloth of our lives by a new pattern, and thus where He causes us to look to Him.

Most Christians lead a treadmill live– a life in which they can predict almost everything that will come their way.  But the souls that God leads into unpredictable and special situations are isolated by Him. All they know is that God is holding them and that He is dealing in their lives. Then their expectations come from Him alone.

This really spoke to me!!  I lived that treadmill life for so long… so predictable because I was calling the shots!

Now God is choosing for me, and what an adventure it has been.  Instead of being on the treadmill, going nowhere, I am reaching new heights and experiencing challenges and miracles that I would never have imagined.  Not at all what I had in mind…. but worth every second!

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I’m a thinker.  A reflecter.  I’ve been going over some things that I said while teaching bible study last Thursday, and I need to clarify.  Not that everyone who went to bible study in the morning and evening will read this… but I think it will help me out as I process the work that God did last week.

I’ve been amazed at how this gift of teaching that God has given me keeps growing.  I say it in those terms because I know it’s not ME.  Truly, I am only a vessel that He uses and for the most part, I feel like a spectator watching Him do amazing things in my midst!   The last few times He’s called me to teach, I’ve sensed a new level of authority in the words that are coming out of my mouth.   Of course, I don’t have the authority to say these things, but the Spirit of God surely does.  The more I yield to Him, the more I see the Spirit speaking with this power and authority.  So, let me clarify.

On Thursday morning, the Lord made some pretty straight-forward statements through me.  One of the last things that He put on my heart to say was that there is a big difference between reading the bible and meeting with God.   I didn’t have time to go into detail about the difference when I was speaking, so now’s my chance.

It’s so easy to think of our devotional time as a “to-do” on the list.  We do our duty, read our chapter or two, and move on to the next item on our list.  We might even spend time praying, journaling, or answering bible study questions.  However… are we really meeting with God? Are we having a two-way dialogue?  Are we taking time to listen to what He would like to say?  Are we letting Him lead our interaction with Him?

Practical things that we can do to encourage dialogue and a true meeting with God are:

  • Begin your time with God by allowing Him to start the dialogue.  Refrain from praying or talking, except to invite Him to speak to you. Consider any scripture or devotional that you read as His communication to you.  This is what He has chosen to say to you today.   Once He has “spoken” through what you’ve read, then go ahead and ask questions, pray, confess, or do whatever you feel prompted to do.  Respond to what He is saying to you.
  • If you sense that God is trying to speak to you through a specific passage or verse, consider re-writing the verse(s) making the pronouns appropriately personal.  Add detail if the Holy Spirit prompts you to do so.  (Example:  Psalm 34:8  “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” The Holy Spirit might inspire you to re-write this to reflect what God is trying to communicate to your heart:  “My child, taste and see that I am good.  Trust me with your financial need and you will find that I will do what is best for you.  How blessed you will be if you trust Me and take refuge in Me.  Let me care for you, provide for you, and protect you.” After you have written down what He has said to you, then you might want to respond by writing back or praying your response out loud.
  • If  suited to your personality or learning style, try visualizing yourself with the Lord. The first time you do it,  I recommend being quiet for a minute and asking the Lord to show you a picture in your mind of the place where He wants to meet you.  You may be surprised at what He will choose.  (For example, my special place is at the beach near a pier. Jesus and I are always alone on the sand.  We walk and talk together. Sometimes He walks me out to the end of the pier to be closer to God the Father – His presence appears as lightning and flashes in the clouds above the water.  The more that I visualize myself with Him in this way, the more detailed it becomes.)  Once you have this picture of your personal meeting place stored in your mind, you can visualize yourself there with Jesus anytime.  This will be most effective if you are a visual person.
  • Sit silently before the Lord. Have pen and paper next to you to jot down whatever He may communicate to you.  Once you are quiet and focused, you may sense what seem like whispers in your mind. You might get a visual picture of something.  A word or phrase may flash in your mind.  Remain quiet and let the Lord show you what it means.  It might be an action He wants you to take.  He might suggest a scripture to look up.  He may want to speak some words of love or comfort to you.  He could begin uncovering truth that you are unaware of.  He may want to visit an experience from the past and reveal something to you about it.  If you have trouble being silent or concentrating, hum a worship song or speak a phrase over and over softly to keep your mind on Him.  (For example, on an occasion when I was highly anxious, the Spirit led me to softly chant something like, “You are the Lord my God.  You are One.  You are Holy.”  I must have repeated that twenty times or more until I settled down and focused on Him.  Then I was able to hear what He wanted to communicate quietly to my heart.)
  • If you are the kind of person that connects easily with nature, sit outside or take a walk outdoors.  Look around you and wait to see if the Lord will draw your attention to something (maybe a rock, a tree, the skyline, an animal. etc.)  Watch the object and allow God to speak to your heart.  (For example, the Lord urged me to get out of my chair one morning to open the curtains.  I saw the most amazing sunrise and He spoke something simple to my heart like, “A new day is dawning. I am doing a new thing in you.”  It was the very week that I found out that I was pregnant.)  Note: if you get impatient waiting for God to communicate through your outdoor surroundings, try looking around and praising Him for what He has made.  Pause occasionally to see if He will share something with you.
  • You may find that a certain posture will be most conducive to meeting with God and hearing from Him.  Personally, the Lord has shown me that the lower I am, the more likely I am to be real with Him and connect with Him.  I have heard from Him most clearly while on the floor.  It could be that kneeling, bowing, rocking, laying face down, or even flat on your back will increase your ability to concentrate and remain humble before Him.  This may not have any bearing at all on your time with Him, so let Him lead on this too.
  • If you are especially moved by music, you may want to begin your time with Him by listening to a few worship songs or just singing them yourself.  Imagine that you are alone with the Lord and you are singing directly to Him.  Once you are focused and connected with Him, then be quiet and let Him communicate to you.
  • If you have an artistic talent, consider sitting before Him with drawing paper, canvas, clay, piano, etc… and allow Him to lead you.  He may use your own hand to draw or paint a picture of what He wants to communicate to you.  He may use your own instrument to sing a song of love or encouragement to you.
  • Get ALONE with God.  You are more likely to “hear” what God is trying to communicate to you if you are free from distraction and interruptions.  In addition, I have found that the more I connect with God, the more intense our meetings are.  I need to know that someone is not going to walk in on me while I am kneeling, fanny in the air, crying my eyes out, quickly scribbling in my journal what God is communicating to me.  I may not want anyone else to hear me singing or yelling at God. (Yes, that’s okay. He can take it.)  So, get up early or stay up late when everyone else is in bed.  Make plans, if needed, to get the house to yourself for an hour.

By no means is this another checklist for you.  My goodness… there are things on the list that would only make me crazy, and certainly not cause me connect with Jesus.  These are suggestions to help you make your devotional time a true meeting with God.  He may have tugged at your heart as you read a specific idea above.  One of the suggestions may have ignited an unlisted method that He wants you to try.  I encourage you to experiment until you KNOW that you have met with God face to face.  He longs to connect with you!

Wow! This post is much longer than I anticipated. I wanted to clarify some things that I taught about prayer at the evening bible study teaching… I will cover that in my next post.