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By Posted on Posted in faith, obedience, trusting Him 1 Comment

I had some thoughts about faith last night.  Since it was date night at Knott’s, there were no strollers, no sibling squabbles. Just grown-ups going on rides and enjoying good food and company.

As one of the roller coasters was pulling us into the loading dock, I had these thoughts:

How foolish to put my life in the hands of 18-year-old ride operators in a 20 year old car, coasting along on metal rails, cruising at dangerous speeds over asphalt and trees!!!! Why is it so easy to trust that the rollercoaster is going to stay on track and keep me safe?

If I can put my trust in a roller coaster, then why is it so hard to put my trust in God? Silence. Pit in stomach. Ouch.

I started thinking about the reasons that cause me to step out in faith on a roller coaster. It’s thrilling, of course. I have the opportunity to watch it run the track over and over. People get on, and they get off safe and sound. My faith and trust build as I witness others survive and enjoy the experience. The more that I ride the coaster, the more comfortable I become. Every time that I return safely to the dock, my faith is fueled and I have what I need to do it again.

So, what can I learn from roller coasters to develop my trust in God? I need to watch others in their faith walk. Take note of the tumultuous paths they endure… and eventually exit. Listen to their stories and let that strengthen my faith.

I need to keep trusting God with whatever He calls me to (and whatever He does not call me to).  Let Him lead, let Him conduct, let Him choose the track. Every time I follow Him on a roller coaster ride… I must look back and remember what I enjoyed. Keep record of the miracles He performed for me and the lessons He taught me.

The more I ride with Him… the more I will trust Him for the next round!

By Posted on Posted in contentment, trusting Him No Comments

“Mom, did you feel that?!?!”

We were sitting in the car on Magnolia Avenue as it extends over the 15 freeway in Corona.

“Why are we shaking?!?!”

I explained to her that the steel and concrete bridge was built to be flexible. It was made to withstand the ebb and flow of traffic, the pressure of large multi-ton vehicles, and the rumblings of earthquakes. The bridge was made to flex and absorb shock rather than resist it.

I went on to tell her that if the bridge was built to be stiff,  sturdy and strong… it would crumble under pressure and wear. Because it can flex, the structure will last a long, long time.

Immediately I knew that God was speaking to my heart.

Be flexible. When you are stubborn, holding onto things, bracing yourself for pain or loss… then you will crumble under the pressure. The worries and stresses of life and its constant changes will wear you down.

Let Me lead. Let Me choose. The words flooded my heart. Let Me guide you along the path that I have chosen for you. Let go of the ideas and expectations that you have. Send them up to Me in prayer, and then release them. Let flexibility and trust rule your heart so that it will not break so easily. How can you hold onto My hand when both hands are grasping onto the things that you think you can’t live without?

Change me, Lord! Cause me to bend and yield to Your will. Let me find joy in all of the ways that You are working in me today.

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Today, the Lord brought me back to Psalm 16… thinking about the boundary lines that He has chosen for me. Over a year ago, this sovereign idea really spoke to me and I wrote a blog about it.

Well, here I am again. Struggling with where God has me. There was a time when I felt the call to full time ministry SO strongly. There were multiple confirmations that could not be dismissed. He was using me in ways that I could not believe. I experienced His presence and his power in life-changing ways.

At the time that I thought the Lord would lead me into full time ministry, He began pulling me out of all the places that I served. I saw fewer and fewer opportunities to teach His word. Now, I’m at home full time with a baby and two homeschooling students. I don’t get out much… especially for teaching or speaking.

I know I’m blessed to be home. I know that what I am doing at home is incredibly important. Yet, my heart is restless… so restless.

The grief comes at me in waves.  Things will happen, and another wave washes over me. That’s where I am today. Trying to understand what God’s plan is for me. What do I make of all the callings, confirmations, affirmations that I received two years ago?

I have to go back to what I know about God. He is always, always good. The place that He has chosen for me right now is the best place for me. I have to let go of what I thought, what I expected, what I interpreted.

Maybe you are feeling restless too. The path you’re on is not going in the direction you thought it would. Maybe a promise you received from God seems a million light years away from being fulfilled. His promises and our current situations can be tough to reconcile when we look at things through our own eyes.

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me…

Psalm 16:5-10a

I will trust Him and His plans. I will wait for that calling to be fulfilled. I will consider my present circumstances as training and preparation for the future that He has planned for me. I will trust these boundary lines.